Why girls like Kwamboka are scary

By Tony M

Last Sunday, a young lady who goes by the name Sheila Kwamboka was voted out of a reality show called Big Brother. I was proud when Kwamboka was chosen to be a Big Brother housemate, she seemed a most urbane young woman on the face of it, and second, let’s face it, she’s from my Gusii ethnicity — just the same way we are all proud of, say, Jelimo, but the people of Kapsabet are even prouder. Kwamboka, 23, is the kind of young woman many a young man would want to marry — from a fresh out of college 25 year old, to a 35-year-old man finally ready to settle down. But then she represented quite the un-ideal kind of woman for matrimony in the house. The worrisome thing is that Kwamboka represents the ‘true face’ of many of our 20-something girls, which is why a lot of guys are now going for 30-plus women. Although those ones have their own unique set of aggravations that we’ll look at another Saturday.

Today, let us use Kwamboka as a specimen for why men don’t want to marry the 20-something Nairobi Girl.

First of all, there is the basic question of sexuality. Kwamboka said she liked members of both genders, and as I wrote in another Men Only like piece years ago when I was in college, this bi-curiousity among our young ladies is playing dice with both their sexuality and femininity.

Kitchen girl

Kwamboka, while in the House, concentrated on the twin passions of smoking as much cigarette tar as her lungs could take — including rolling tea leaves when no fags were available — and drinking. On top of that, the girl is proud to say "I am not a kitchen girl."

Now, you may think what you like, but nothing says love like a good finger licking meal. Take my word on that. Imagine if you married a ‘modern Nairobi girl’ like Kwamboka. You come home, the house is a miasma of smoke and, she is nowhere to be seen. Neither is there the tiniest trace of a morsel’s meal. You decide to go to the local for some nyama choma and a couple of beers, and as soon as you walk in, there she is with a crowd of your boys, shouting: "Wazzup, hubby? We’re just kulaing heppy!" where ‘kulaing heppy’ means she is on her umpteenth beer, and louder than Atwoli on the warpath.

Aggressive behaviour

Kwamboka also admitted that she’s "a bum" on continental TV, and seldom cleaned up house while she was on the reality show. She also loves partying, and sad to say, did not shower too much when she was on the show — at least not daily — and the SMSes coming in at the bottom of the screen reflected this concern.

So, what sort of wife do we have here? An urban girl who won’t cook, will not clean house, always wants to be out at the disco — and is that a woman good to go for marriage? ‘Bumming’ is just another word for idleness; and even the Bible says in Proverbs that ‘better to live on the roof of your house, than share a home with a lazy woman’. It is profoundly disturbing to me that many urban girls see nothing wrong with just hanging around, waiting to be waited upon, hand and foot, by foolish men. How long before we see, in our shopping centres, gangs of lazy girls shooting pool and the breeze, and exchanging pointless anecdotes about nothing as they chew khat?

The ‘ABC’ of Kwamboka’s behaviour in that ‘Big Brother House’ was to be Aggressive, Belligerent and Curse, curse, curse. Swear words flowed from her like bilge from a sewer.

I do not know how many men would stand for a wife whose vocabulary mainly consists of a string of four letter words. How will you discuss family matters, like the domestic budget, especially if you have a young child(ren) around? In a pre-arranged morse code of bleeps to obliterate the filthy language?

And if you try to beat up a Kwamboka, she looks like she’ll severely fix you! I do not know about you, man, but if this is the New Generation of Nairobi woman, then you are better off going to the neighbouring towns of Jinja and Arusha — for brides you can have pride in.