When some Nigerian single mothers cross-dressed, complete with artificial beards, side burns and moustaches to celebrate Father’s Day last Sunday, you would have thought it was the strongest indication of the ‘beginning of end of men and rise of women’, until a woman in Mabungo Village in Kisumu County did the unimaginable.
Irene Alembi Matete married the love of her life in a touching, albeit weird, ceremony. Well, contrary to what one might expect, Matete was not marrying a boyfriend per se. Standing alone in a bridal gown at the altar, the 54-year-old widow said “I do” to none other than Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
Let’s just say Matete heard the call of the Lord to live as His spouse. This rare spectacle happened before over 200 worshipers and 20 flower girls at the Pentecostal Assemblies of God church in Maseno, complete with a pastor who confirmed the call as authentic.
While presiding over the odd ceremony, Pastor John Ngayi hailed Matete’s courageous choice of consecrating herself totally to the love of God.
This, according to the man of God, essentially means she will never have sex with any other man, lest she attracts a curse for ‘cheating on Christ and the church by extension’. What’s more, it doesn’t mean that she will be a nun nor get any financial support from any diocese. Instead, she will live her life traditionally, but dedicate herself to prayer, penance, apostolic service and to the church.
The excited bride said she had been forced to ‘wed the church or Jesus Christ’ to meet the set norms of her church and the Luhya community traditions.
Dressed in a white wedding gown, Matete stood solely before the church ministers and gave the rest of her life to Christ and the church “till death do them apart.”
Matete who had never had a church wedding was compelled to go through this ceremony so as to pave the way for her children, especially her eldest son who was planning a wedding in December this year.
Even though there was no ring for her finger or a honeymoon after the event, Matete was okay with the other wedding norms such as dancing, feasting, gifting and all.
“There were prayers and vows, there was a cake, and I also received lots of gifts which included utensils, furniture and money. Guests were excited they ate, sang and prayed with me. What else does one require during their wedding?” she asked.
She continued: “Previously, I was despised by everybody. I could not participate in critical church events, especially weddings. I could not even be allowed to be an usher in a church wedding. It is now over.”
Matete had undergone a traditional wedding in 1979 with Silas Atembi and they were blessed with five children. Her husband died in 2012. She decided not to be remarried by a man but Jesus as she had experienced a lot of hardship in her previous marriage.
Silas, who was from Bunyore region, was a painter by profession and lived with her for 39 years. “For the respect of my children and because they too saw what we had gone through, I decided not to get married by man but by Christ,” said Matete.
Other than the traditional aspect in this rare wedding, Matete, who intends to be a church leader, was also compelled by the norms of the church to wed in order to meet the set requirements.
According the norms of Pentecostal Assemblies of God – Kenya (PAG), where Matete is a member, one must have undergone a wedding ceremony to be elected to church leadership.
In the absence of real groom, she chose a friend, Judith Ocholla, who also underwent a similar process last year, to be her groom at the wedding ceremony. This is according to the Luhya traditions.
Pastor John Ngayi told The Standard that it was biblical and important for Matete to go through the ceremony. “This formally means no sex for her with any other man. Anyone who goes through this must stay faithful to the Lord and the church,” said Ngayi.
The ceremony also had a cultural angle as a Luhya elder, Samuel Oloukune, told The Standard. “According to our traditions, a child cannot wed if the parents did not undergo one, so it was necessary for Matete to wed before the wedding of her son in December,” said Olukune.
Her marriage to Alembi was no longer valid, as it was a traditional wedding, thus, she had to wear a wedding gown before hundreds of Maseno residents, among them her grandchildren.
“Judith stepped in because she had a similar experience last year. According to our tradition, for one to play the part of a groom in such a special ceremony, one must have had a previous experience,” said Olukune.
Ms Ocholla accompanied by other church members picked the bride from her parents’ home in Musunguti village in Vihiga County, before proceeding for a church service that was held at Matete’s home.
Interestingly, the church could not have her wed under its roof. “A section of my fellow believers incited the church leadership to deny me a chance to use the church premises for my wedding,” she said.
She had to contend with a makeshift church and alter at her compound. The porridge and Githeri seller at Maseno University Main Campus has been attracting a lot of attention since then, something she is okay with since it has made her a celeb of sorts, boosting her daily sales.
“People come at my kibanda (stall) so that I narrate to them the tale I do not feel ashamed to share my story. I have achieved the right status and esteem in the society,” said the sixth born in a family of eight.
