Hazy duel

By CAROLINE NYANGA

Kevo Yout

P: What do you think of the name Hey-Z?

KY: It sounds like a fake Chinese product, probably a toilet detergent.

P: Between the two of you who is more popular with female fans?

KY: Me of course! I do gospel dancehall music, which is more appealing compared to my noisy gospel hip-hop brother. We all know that dancehall currently rules.

P: Suppose the two of you came across a hot chick, what would you say to her to win her over Hey-Z?

KY: I would ask him about his ‘finance’ and how she is doing. Though untrue but this would be a turn off for the girl.

P: How would you rate him out of ten musically?

KY: A two is good enough. In fact, I have done him a big favour because he deserves less.

P: Would you ever clad Hey-Z’s clothes?

KY: The fact that our style is incompatible tells it all. It’s like trying to mix water and oil.

P: As a reggae deejay, how would he fare?

KY: It would be chants po! po! po! po! — followed by loud — Chant down Babylon system before the bottles begin flying.

P: Judging from his looks what profession would suit him best?

KY: A mutura vendor within Dandora Passie in the sprawling Eastlands estate.

P: Hey-Z as a Mugithi artiste?

KY: He would go by the stage name Heho Wang’ombe, always performing in dingy places.

P: If you were in his shoe, what would you do differently?

KY: I would consider switching from music. What would you do if you released a song and the only fans are on Facebook?

P: With Osama’s gun on your head, who would you date between local boxer Conjestina and runner Jelimo?

KY: Conje is in a better position to protect me physically hata bila doh kama ya Jelimo.

Hey-z

P: What do you think of the name Kevo Yout?

HZ: It sounds more of a Caribbean Rasta name, which many people out there (except for Rastafarians) can hardly pronounce correctly. I think it is high time we Kenyans stick to the culture of using simple names that can be easily pronounced. Names like Kidum, Sauti Sol and, of course, Hey-Z.

P: Between you two, who is more popular with female fans?

HZ: My stage performance and unique dance moves are electric. That aside, my well represented looks being the hunk that I am will see many female fans running to me as opposed to the nywele tatu za Rastafarian.

P: Suppose the two of you came across a hot chick, what would you say to her to win her over?

HZ: It all depends with the pick up line. Mine would go like; if beauty were my virus then you would be my anti-virus.

P: How would you rate him out of ten musically?

HZ: When it comes to recording skills an eight would do. But his stage performance would let him down. A four is good enough.

P: Would you ever put on Kevo Yout’s clothes?

HZ: Never ever! He is too tall, besides, his choice of colours and stunnas don’t go down well with my swagger.

P: As a Lingala deejay how would he fare?

HZ: He would witness the wrath of bana shemegi including ardent Lingala lovers from Nyanza and Western provinces. It would be total mokili mobimba for him.

P: Judging from his personality and looks, what profession would suit him best?

HZ: A con man somewhere in Ngara’s Grogan Road.

P: If you were in his shoe, what would you do differently?

HZ: I would work on my stage performance and publicity, which includes selling my name at all costs.

P: With Osama’s gun on your head, who would you date between local boxer Conjestina and runner Jelimo?

HZ: Jelimo, because of the pesa pap factor.

VERDICT

Kevo Yout starts the assault on Hey- Z by suggesting that his name sounds like fake toilet cleaner from China. Then adds another by saying, at best, Hey -Z would be a mutura vendor. He adds another by suggesting Hey-Z only got fans on Facebook. Hey Z, sounding hesitant to hit back just suggests Kevo has no swagger besides having a difficult name to pronounce. He, however, unleashes a superb pick up line, which earns him a draw.3-3!