It’s that time of the year again ladies; the dreaded return of the premier league season. We barely made it through the world cup! For reasons I don’t understand, I have always been a football fanatics’ magnet. Even though I don’t give a tinker’s damn about the game, somehow I always find myself entangled with the maniacs who treat football like it is a matter of life and death.
As a self-proclaimed expert in dating football fanatics, I have come to the conclusion that there are two pertinent questions that women should start asking on first dates: One, are you a football fan? Two, which team do you support in the English premier league?
I know you are wondering why the team he supports is relevant in this matter but please hear me out. It is very important! Dating a football fanatic is bad enough on it’s own, but you know what’s worse?
Dating a football fanatic who roots for a terrible team. If the team he roots for is consistently terrible, run for the hills. For instance, if he says he supports Arsenal FC, run for your life! Take it from me; you do not want to be involved with that one!
You see, when it comes to being in a relationship with a football maniac, I can tolerate, to some extent, being ignored or being flaked on because the game is on. What I am utterly unable to stomach, however, is the erratic temperaments.
When you date a football fanatic, you quickly learn that his emotional state rests entirely on how his team preforms.
When his team is performing well, he is high-spirited and perky. This reflects on how he treats you. He is will be absolutely delightful.
On the other hand, when his team is performing poorly, he will be a total nightmare! He will be grumpy and cranky and unfortunately you will bear the brunt of his team’s loss.
I can’t tell you the number of times my football-addicted boyfriends have taken out the frustration of their team losing on me. I have had a boyfriend stomp off in a huff in the middle of a date just because his team lost.
Another boyfriend told me point blank that our weekend plans hinged on whether his team won the game or not. If it won, we would go away on an out-of-town trip. If it didn’t we would be staying home. His team lost and true to his words, we stayed home that weekend.
I am currently dating a football fanatic whose world revolves around Arsenal. On the Sunday of Arsenal opening game of the season, I found myself in a bit of a pickle and needed him to accompany me somewhere but he refused because Arsenal was playing and he couldn’t miss it for anything in the world.
Understandably, I was pretty pissed off. I needed his help and he couldn’t come through for me because of a stupid game. In a moment of spite and anger, I told him that I hoped Arsenal would lose. Sure enough, Arsenal lost. He didn’t speak to me for three days. He took my words to heart and there was hell to pay for it.
It is ridiculous when the quality of your relationship depends on a stupid game. Ladies, spare yourself the anguish and steer clear of these fanatics and if you absolutely have to date one, make sure he supports a team that wins. This way you won’t have to put up with the foul mood too many times.
