My defense for dowry is first out of selfishness, because from it I earn my living, secondly because I am a lover of traditions and diversity.
African culture has been taken away by modernity, even our names are fading, and Jayden and their likes are slowly bringing to extinction Mulatya, Karanja , Omolo and Mwanyumba.
Instead of being circumcised on a cold river bank with a blunt knife, nowadays the manhood is peeled off by female nurses under heavy anesthesia.
I, therefore, beseech you friends of Africa that let's not sweep away dowry as we shave off our traditions.
I know that one reason the 'xaxa' generation is shying away from dowry is the kind of extreme demands your kin ask the struggling young men, and for that, I say blame your greedy fathers and uncles but not culture.
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Dowry wasn't made to be an extortion scam but rather a cultural process to build the friendship and ties between two families.
It was a noble and humble show of appreciation by the groom to the parents of the bride for bringing up their daughters well only to give her away at her prime age to a distant and often foreign man to make her his own.
Dowry isn't a purchase price, for a woman can't be quantified to the value of cows or any property.
A story is told in my village of an old man who found a young man crying bitterly in the village well. The old man enquired the cause of the weeping, and the young man said it was because he couldn'd find a wife.
Concerned the old man said he was ready to assist the boy, but first asked him:
Old man: Do you have a cow?
Young Man: No
Old Man: Do you have a goat?
Young Man: NO
Old Man: Do you have a chicken?
Young Man: No
The old man looked at the young man and said, " I think you have more crying to do!"
Dowry was a symbol that you not only showed appreciation but that you were able to take care of a wife and children.
The old men of old were not after money, and sometimes some of the gifts given were later given to the bride and the young man to kick off life.
I know that the other reason young men are reluctant to pay dowry is that they are not sure if the slay-queen will last in the marriage.
Others because the only thing she is bringing is an oiled behind and huge bills.
But even then, appreciating the parents through dowry process won't harm.