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I was raped twice, tried to commit suicide - Valentine Nyakiere

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 Valentine Nyakiere [Photo: Courtesy]

Growing up, 29-year-old Valentine Nyakiere had a normal childhood. When she turned three years, her single mother took her to Nyeri to live with her grandmother, so that she could continue with her studies.

Years later, Valentine reunited with her mother.

“Growing up with my mum was very nice. I had a happy childhood. I was talkative, excited about life... just happy. But all that changed when I turned 12.

"My mother used to take me to play at a family friend’s house. I would go there almost every week. One day, the man of the house asked me to join him in a room separate from where we were playing. He introduced me to different games that I had never played before,” recalls Valentine.

 Valentine Nyakiere [Photo: Courtesy]

The man, Valentine says, used to touch her private parts, but she was too young to understand.

“During one of my visits, things drastically changed. He started touching me inappropriately. He would touch my bum and put his hands on my private parts. If I protested, he would threaten to kill me. This scared me to silence. I never told my mum about it,” says Valentine.

Scared and with no one to talk to, she became depressed. She shut off her family and her grades in school dropped.

“I was in a boarding school at the time. I couldn’t tell anyone about what had happened to me. I kept having nightmares of the incident and I wanted all of it to end. That was the very first time I contemplated suicide. I was the assistant matron at the school, which meant that I had access to the medicine cabinet.

"After dinner when I had handed over meds to the rest of the students, I took some pills that I assumed would be enough to end my life. Fortunately, that did not work and I ended up having stomach pains,” recalls Valentine.

After this incident, she battled to stay sane.

When she cleared high school, tragedy struck again.

“After high school, I attended a party in Nyeri. We were in a hotel and the party was upstairs. As I was partying the night away, someone tapped me on the shoulders and told me that someone was calling me downstairs. As soon as I got downstairs, four men dragged me to a nearby coffee plantation and raped me.

"They left me for dead. I dragged myself toward the direction that I could hear cars coming from. I had some money in my pocket so I got into a matatu and went straight home. I found my grandmother waiting for me outside.

"I told her what had happened and she ushered me to the house, gave me some tea and then took me to a nearby clinic. We didn’t report the incident and have never spoken about it since,” recalls the mother of one.

After that incident, Valentine’s desire to end her life became greater. She moved in with a friend at Muthurwa.

 Valentine Nyakiere [Photo: Courtesy]

Here, it was easy to acquire guns so she saved some money to buy one.

“I always imagined killing myself by inserting a steel rod up my vagina and just dying. After I purchased the gun, I had to start learning on how to use it, but it never worked.

"One day, she took poison, but her plan flopped. I became depressed and drowned myself in alcohol,” she says, adding that she attempted another suicide by burning her house, but neighbours rescued her.

The final attempt to end her life, Valentine says was her turning point.

“I borrowed a friend’s car and drove it across a bridge along Mombasa Road. The car was written off and I escaped with minor injuries. I knew death was now evading me. I gave up and decided to handle my issues,” she says.

However, a few months later, she discovered she was pregnant.

“Somehow, that changed me. When the baby was born, the doctors diagnosed me with postpartum depression. I used to get angry when the baby cried. I was put on meds which really helped me,” she says, adding that, “I learnt to love myself again and to heal. I hope that someone will learns from my struggles and chose to reach out and ask for help from their loved ones. Talking about your pain really helps. That is the only way to heal,” says Valentine.

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