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The most sought-after dowry negotiator

UREPORT
By francis wambua | July 15th 2018

Next weekend 'Son of the village' will be leading a delegation of wise men and a groom to a dowry negotiation event at Kilala, Makueni county, a small town on your way to the headquarters of Professor Kivutha Kibwana.

The young man had requested his father and uncles from the village to accompany him, but when the Wazee heard that son of the village is nowadays running his trade in various counties, they delegated the auspicious task to yours truly, saying that the event is not only in good but also wise hands. 

For those of you who are new in Jerusalem, son of the village is a decorated dowry negotiator, having participated and led similar delegates with enviable success.

It is always spoken in low tones in the village that if you want your daughter to fetch a good price, son of the village is one man you should not ignore. 

This time, however, I will be on the other end, negotiating for our son to be charged fairly. In such occasions, I carry a fly whisk, and a huge cap, similar to one worn by Mobutu Sese Seko, the purpose to cover my ears.

By the weekend I will have recited and perfected the use of several wise words and proverbs, and also identified those among us we will ban from opening their mouths during negotiations.

As the chief negotiator, I am assured of a fat kickback if the negotiations go well, and the fattest part of the chicken.

Enough said

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