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2017 was meant to be your year but you're still single- Here's why
By Wambui Mbuthia | Updated Dec 12, 2017 at 13:29 EAT
2017-was-meant-to-be-your-year-but-you-re-still-single-here-s-why
Woman having a migraine
SUMMARY

Being single could be a matter of choice or consequence

There are several reasons why you could still be single 

Last evening I bumped into a former classmate in the streets.

From the first look, I could tell she was doing quite well. My inquisitive nature led me to know that she was heading a reputable company in the country and that she was on her way to acquiring her second Ph.D.

Being a slow Monday night, we agreed to hang out and enjoy a few drinks to wait for the traffic to go down.

As we had our drinks, the talk became easy and she admitted that as much as she had almost what every girl desires, she still felt incomplete. This is after trying and failing countless times to find a life partner.

Her biggest regret every day is that she has to go home alone to an empty house.

Many drinks later, we went our separate ways but I couldn’t help but wonder how such an accomplished person lives without a suitor. That’s when it occurred to me that people have a number of reasons why they are single:

Sour past experiences:

Where I come from, there is a saying that goes, ‘You don’t put back your finger where it was first bitten’. This simply put is, once you’ve had a bad experience with something, going back to it will only harm you more. There are people out there who want to date but they can’t because of the fear of being hurt like the last time they tried.

Rule-marking: 

This is a disease with the current generation. You find out that someone wants to have a relationship experience like they saw in a movie, read in a book or heard about from friends. This kind of illusion leaves people blind to the many suitors around them and they end up single, ages after their expected time to settle down.

Self-esteem issues

When one thinks too high or too low of themselves, it affects their relationship with others and in turn, their chances of finding suitors. People don’t hang out with people who want to talk about themselves and their achievements. People also keep away from those who have nothing positive to say about themselves.

Fear of competition:

I know a person or two who would rather be single than date someone and entertain the thought that their special person may cheat on or leave them. This kind of fear makes people believe that they are better of alone.

Playing too hard:

At a certain age for individuals, life suitors flock from all directions. This kind of attention may trick a person that he/she is in high demand. In most cases, this person tends to keep rejecting relationship offers as they come. With time, these dates decrease and if one goes on waiting to get a perfect person, they may end up single.

Social habits and routine: 

One sure way of getting a suitor is by going out there and mingling with people. When one has a social habit of not meeting others, their chance of meeting someone is almost zero. Routines that keep an individual away from others, like odd working hours may also result in being single.

I don’t really know which of these defines my friend’s situation but I know very well if she worked towards the direction they point, I might be attending a wedding soon.

This is a citizen journalism website. The views expressed here do not represent that of the Standard Group Ltd. Read the terms and conditions
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