Girlfriends and boyfriends are for high schoolers and first years in campus. But when you mature, you need mature love, someone to build love with a purpose, with the intention of marriage, something lasting not some excitement just to pass time.
When a gentleman matures, he longs for a grown woman because a girl cannot handle the depth of love. When a lady matures, she longs for a grown gentleman because a boy is just not ready to handle a grown woman.
Are you a grown woman wasting time with boys? Are you a grown gentleman wasting time with girls? You will struggle and be frustrated, pick someone your own size, commit to someone grown and who seeks further growth like you.
Being mature has nothing to do with age; being mature has everything to do with inner growth and development. You can be 40 years old and act immature, you can be 28 years old and act more grown than a 45 year old. You can be 50 years and lack the capacity to be a C.E.O of a profitable company, you can be 22 and not just employ people but mentor them.
In the Bible, when Job was going through troubles and his friends tried to help him, the younger one, Elihu, kept quiet as he watched the older ones struggle to engage Job in his issue. After much silence and observation, Elihu choose to speak saying he thought that wisdom comes with age but he was wrong, wisdom comes from God.
Any adult who turns to God for growth will be wise and grow, no matter their age. Your growth depends on your desire to learn and be better. Marriage is not for know-it-alls and proud people.
Just because you have an I.D, you have a job, you have a salary, you have a house, you have an adult body doesn't mean you're ready for marriage. Owning or renting a house is easy, all you need is money; but to build a home takes maturity, effort and dedication.
Boys and girls in an adult body are not emotionally, mentally and spiritually ready for marriage.
Boys and girls are self centered, they throw tantrums, they bow to pressure, they are indecisive, they think largely about sex and are prone to unfaithfulness, they are petty, they hold grudges, they want to prove points, they engage in gender battles, they use their children as weapons, they use sex as a weapon, they pick up fights, they choose revenge, they give up too easily, they can't control their tempers because they are emotionally unstable; and they take all this into their marriage.
Dating and marrying a mature person is so easy and fulfilling; they know what they want, they don't play games, they seek to learn, they don't find it beneath them to say sorry or accept correction, they are loyal, they have the back to carry the load of commitment, they are humble, they don't prolong disagreements, they don't engage in blame games and mind games because they take responsibility, they look at the bigger picture.
Getting a child with a boy or girl in an adult body is even more problematic. Start a family with someone who is grown enough for the responsibility of family. As Akello says, when you realize you are dealing with an immature person, pause the baby making; don't get a child or more children thinking that will solve the problem.
If you are single, be smart in your choice. Choose a grown adult.
If you are married, leave your childish ways behind. Always pursue to learn and grow. Think more than just yourself.
© Dayan Masinde
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