1. A bitter person
Someone who is hurt will most likely not be objective, their advice is often skewed as they are speaking from a place of bitterness which tends to make things personal and cloud good judgment.
2. A sexist This person elevates one gender above the other and say things like "Women are always like that, you have to teach your wife a lesson", or "Men are dogs, show your husband you have power too". Love will not thrive where there is sexism because love requires understanding between genders.
3. A friend who is interested in your spouse This friend might keep painting your spouse in bad light so that you two break up and he/she gets a chance to be with your spouse.
4. An ex who hasn't gotten over you This person might keep showing you how they can love you better than the one you are with. He/she will give advice that will suit their end game.
5. A friend who disrespects your spouse Those friends who disrespect your spouse should not be entertained. They will poison your mind and make you see you spouse as your enemy or as worthless.
6. A dominated mother If you are a woman and your mother is a dominated woman in marriage whose voice has been silenced, most likely she will give you advice telling you to tolerate and also to lose your voice because perhaps according to her, silence and suppression is the woman's portion (mwanamke ni kuvumilia).
7. Someone with different values than you Their advice will not be in line with your values. If faithfulness is one of your values, maybe it is not theirs. In fact, your spirit will not agree with it.
8. A pastor who is dictatorial This kind of a pastor will want to manipulate you and make you feel you are the child of the devil if you don't obey his/her orders. This pastor will impose decisions on you that suits him/her and takes pleasure out of micro managing your marriage.
9. A player A player might incite you to also play on your partner to make himself/herself feel vindicated and supported in doing wrong.
10. A jealous person A jealous friend or family member might want to ruin the good relationship you have and so will put negative ideas in your mind to mess it.
11. A lost father As a man, if your father mistreats your mother, has little to admire him for interms of his character and is lost, honour him but discern the quality of his advice. He might teach you how to mistreat your wife because he doesn't know any better, he might give his advice based on a culture that has negatively affected his own marriage.
12. A biased person Someone who is biased towards you, a certain tribe or who looks up to you because of your career success might find it difficult to give balanced advice. Good advice is impartial.
Be careful who you give audience to. Not every advice is worth applying. Bad advice destroys marriages.
© Dayan Masinde
In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I demistify what being a man is and I address the man's sexuality, his faith, emotions, relations, thoughts, struggles and needs.
In my other new book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I talk how a woman can be the best her as an individual, a wife, a mother and a friend. I also address her needs and sexuality.
To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.
To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.