Things to consider when choosing the ‘right partner’

By Nkunja Hellen | Sunday, Mar 22nd 2020 at 11:50
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Isn’t it really sad when we have to hear of either a couple or lovers who kill each other in the news? Domestic violence has become the order of the day with relationship wrangles taking center stage. It is pretty obvious there’s no perfect way of knowing who will suit you best. However, there are things that are crucial for consideration.

First and foremost, don’t choose needy people and never stop living your life just because of a relationship. Going ahead to be in a relationship with someone who says they can’t live without you is certainly a red light - danger ahead. This means they want you for what they think you can do to help or change them, or you might be a rebound. Getting married to a drunk when you don’t drink does work magic on them to stop.

Secondly, never choose a partner you think you can change “ I heard of his bad history with other girls, but I can change him, he’s different with me.” Many women believe in the magical power of love that will create a new human being. They will most likely go back to his bad habits after all the early stages of romance are gone. Isn’t it obvious that they create a good impression at the beginning? This makes you avoid having arguments and agreeing to everything your partner says. This may, however, lead to anger towards them, and at last, you end up fighting.

Thirdly, how does he treats his friends? Is he caring, loving? I’m sure he might have told you a lot of positive things, but his actions speak louder. The way he treats his house help or a waiter in a restaurant should form a hypothesis, and if it’s bad, run! That’s how you’ll be treated when the relationship gets old. Most women will also go ahead to believe what his friends say” we haven’t seen him this in love/happy before” LIES!! Once you spend more time together, you’ll know each other.

Lastly, know what you want. Our generation is brainwashed in whatever the modern fairy tales portray of perfect couples with happy endings. However, not everyone is going to be like Jay Z and Beyonce or Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! There’s no such thing as a perfect couple, but having chemistry and similar beliefs can lead to a successful relationship.

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