Relationships: It's the little things matter

By Rose Hellen Wangari Mwangi | Friday, Mar 6th 2020 at 13:39
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Have your intentions and your actions appeared totally different instead of being identical. I mean, actions do speak louder than words, but not everyone can hear nor care what you say, but almost everyone sees what you do, and of course, they'll judge you by it. I know we don't care what other people think of us because "it’s none of our business."

Often are times that we misunderstand this the quote. It's pretty clear to all of us that there are good and bad people in society. Tell you what, you know yourself and your intentions, and most of all, there is always that one who sees your heart, so the rest let them be who they are "the rest." But let's face it, we do care what our parents, guardians, and people we hold dear and have done nothing but cared for us all through think of us. Why? Because we value them and also it is written that we should honour and obey them. It is the bad vibe in the mouths of people, even them that we need not dwell on.

We all have our ups and downs in life, it has never been easy, and that is why we get so protective when someone goes ahead to judge us. We even give warnings in our status updates like "you cannot handle half of what I've had to walk through..." Identify the important people in your life: People who add value to you. People you respect and cherish, and they feel the same way about you.

People you trust, people that hold you when you slip and stick with you when you fall. People who encourage you and bring out the best in you. People who value their relationship with you that they apologise when they wrong you, or not just because they love and value what it is you share. I can go on and on, pointing out about the kind of people to mind what they think and say about you, but I think you already understand what I mean.

Anyway, let me give an example of what I mean when I say you should care for what for words and thoughts from certain people. Complaints and frustrations laid down by our spouses drain us. There was this time that my chats were so huge in number, and I was required to delete, but I held on to it. I did not want to erase them. So it caused delays when I sent messages. This annoyed him after some time of telling him that the messages are delaying. He was patient but still disturbed about it.

So the time came I sent one, and it took so long that he even thought I did not want to talk to him or something. But for real, my phone was tired, but since the reason was almost similar to the ones given before the human that he is thought I was making up excuses whenever I delayed. I tried telling him that they were not stories, but seriously he was just annoyed.

What I was saying was true, but hey, what was evident? The opposite. My actions did not portray my intentions as I wanted to keep the memories, but keeping them meant shutting more wonderful ones. You see, I could not let him believe I was lying and making up excuses for my mistakes. Why? Because I cared what he thought about me, so I did what I had to do to save our communication.

What if I ignored and assumed he was just grumpy? I would not have realised that I had to let go to continue enjoying the conversations we have. And maybe we would not be where we are. Come to think of it, what if I got reckless? Anything big starts small.

It would have started with disbelief to mistrust, and I don't think there is a marriage that can work without trust. And trust is earned. You have to show that you are trustworthy. Such small issues may seem small but can actually end up breaking a union that was meant to work.

The little things do matter. Learn to listen and put yourself in the other person's shoes, do to others what you want to be done to you. So work on the small issues that arise; don't wait for things to get out of hand. Be noble enough to take responsibility for your actions and also what you say. Don't be an owl because of not taking responsibility. You know owls are a really bad omen, but we see and believe what we hear about them. Be wise.

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