A roommate is like a first desk mate one has in a new school. They are the first people you see their teeth, and they easily become your first friends on campus by default. While there are good roommates, there are types of roommates who could be a nightmare. Below are five types;
1. The Village Hero Heroines – These are roommates who bring an entire village to your room. They converse in vernacular while laughing hysterically to the pity of their lungs. Mostly, they appear like they are gossiping about you, but they are not. You only get to know that when one of them stands to demonstrate how a certain drunkard in the village walks in italics. However, they are a friendly lot. Once they see you on academic hallways, they wave at you with wide smiles; the next question always hanging on their lips. Is your roommate in?
2. The Holier than Thou – These are the type of roommates who invite their whole church for youth fellowship in your room every afternoon. They sing choruses and hymns loudly that the whole hostel will be aware of the revival meeting in your room. They are quite unapologetic about the discomfort they cause you. It’s the work of the Lord so thou shall not complain. Whenever a member of the opposite sex visits you, they are quick to remind you that immorality is sin.
3. The cockroach roommates – As the name suggests, these are roommates who exhibit characteristics of cockroaches. They are not your official roommates but you get to live with them all through the semester. Mostly, they are relatives or friends who miss out on accommodation by unfair circumstances. You have to feed them and shelter them while all they do is creep in late at night and feast on remains. They are worse than cockroaches themselves.
4. The exile maestro – These are roommates who invite their girlfriends or boyfriends over for a month. On the first day, they will bribe you with delicious omena and pretend to be all motherly telling you that they will not do anything. A few nights later, you will hear noises that make you want to make babies. You will plug in your earphones trying to drown the noises, but nobody can stop reggae. The bed will be creaking to its rhythm, and you’ll listen to it anyway.
5. The devil himself – These are roommates who are relatives of trouble, share mutual friends with misery, and are direct descendants of the devil. They make you regret bitterly all the cold mornings in high school you worked so hard to join campus. They are out to see no good in you, working tirelessly to ensure that their actions proudly sponsor every frown on your face. They are the campus version of an insecure stepmother.