There are men who deliberately lead on women and then there are men who want to commit but chose not to because of the following reasons.
1. Her being in a rush When a man feels rushed by the woman to marry her yet they barely even know each other, when she is already announcing to everyone that they are a couple yet they have not agreed to be one, he questions her motives and holds back. He wonders "Is this woman so desperate to be with a man and to get married that she is speedily using me to achieve her goal?". A man who is serious will want to build a serious foundation, and that takes time.
2. Her over sexualization When a man who values intimacy notices that a woman he barely knows is so quick to give him sex, and a majority of her conversation is sexual, he wonders, "Is sex all she thinks she has to offer?" A serious man is looking for more than sex.
3. Her suicidal tendencies When a woman threatens to commit or attempts to commit suicide over romantic matters, a man gets scared and holds back. He questions the emotional stability of the woman and keeps off her because he doesn't want to be known as the man who made her kill herself. A serious man is looking for a woman who loves herself enough to value and protect her life and worth.
4. Her flirtatious nature When a man who is getting to know a woman notices that she likes the attention and sex appeal of other men, being generous with her flirts and enjoying leading on multiple men at the same time; he holds back and lets her be. A serious man wants a woman who is not for every man.
5. Her unnecessary drama There will be challenges when a man and woman relate, but when a man notices the woman brings issues in every corner, she is unreasonable and difficult to walk with, he withdraws. A serious man desires maturity and civility.
6. Her insecurities A man who is serious about the woman will do everything to make her secure. He will have boundaries with his female interactions and be transparent. But when he notices that she is bent on accusing him falsely and is fighting everyone in his life, he will hold back. A serious man is looking for a woman who knows she is the best, a Queen and none is like her.
7. Her indecision When a woman keeps breaking up with the man, keeps talking about divorce, leaving him them wanting him back; he gets tired and it drains his commitment level. A serious man wants a woman who knows what she wants.
8. Her own fear of commitment When a woman is afraid of something serious and keeps a man pending for long and yet she doesn't want him to go find a woman who is ready, he gets turned off and starts to lose the urge to pursue her. A serious man wants a woman who is serious about building love.
9. Her obsession with her ex A serious man will want to know how her past journey was before the two met in order to better understand her, but when he notices that the woman constantly talks about her ex and bringing up memories of her ex, he questions whether he is a rebound, he starts to doubt his place. A serious man wants to make sure the woman is not tied to her past.
10. Her unfinished business with baby daddy A serious man may not mind loving a single mother, but only if the woman is completely done with her baby daddy. But once he senses that she and the baby daddy are too cosy together and that the bond between them is about more than just the child/children, he will not hesitate to remove himself from the equation. A serious man does not want to be a third wheel.
11. Her unruly behaviour A woman might be of age but not act of age. If in her spending time with her he notices her bad behaviours, being reckless in public, causing embarrassing scenes, drinking herself silly; he will ask himself "Do I really want this for the rest of my life?" A serious man values a woman's character.
12. Her disrespect to his family When he notices that she rubbishes his parents and siblings and has a don't care attitude towards them, he will rather lose her than hurt his family members. A serious man desires a good relationship between his family and his woman and he tries to unify the two parties.
13. Her constant fights When a man keeps wondering why does he and the woman fight every day, he will doubt whether they are meant to be together, especially if she keeps picking up the same fights or looks for new ones. Some women are so used to chaos. A serious man wants a woman with who he can have peace.
© Dayan Masinde
In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I demistify what being a man is and I address the man's sexuality, his faith, emotions, relations, thoughts, struggles and needs.
In my other new book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I talk how a woman can be the best her as an individual, a wife, a mother and a friend. I also address her needs and sexuality.
To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.
To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.