Facts about affairs in relationships

By Dayan Masinde | Monday, Sep 2nd 2019 at 12:04
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1. Every affair starts with excitement then leads to regret.

2. Women cheat more emotionally by connecting with another man and for some it leads to physical cheating. Men cheat more physically and hence can cheat with multiple women.

3. The heart cannot multitask. At any given point, the heart will focus on one person. That is why you will start to give your spouse/partner less attention when you are cheating.

4. Affairs will open up doors to your relationship/marriage that will be difficult to close.

5. Affairs are an illusion that amount to nothing once you get caught.

6. The person who is cheating with you will also cheat on you.

7. If you are in a relationship/marriage, the person you are cheating with will soon leave for their real love after destroying your real love.

8. Challenges in your relationship/marriage are not solved by looking for a distraction outside.

9. Smart phones have aided unfaithfulness for many in our generation. Be smart with your smart phone.

10. An affair is exciting because it is fresh. You had the same excitement when the love with your spouse/partner was fresh, that was the original, the affair is the counterfeit.

11. Don't let someone who doesn't know the journey you and your spouse/partner has walked come to destroy what you have built for years.

12. Most affairs start of as friendships that had no boundaries.

13. The more you consume porn, the more likely you are to cheat as you seek to let loose the monster of lust you feed.

14. Don't blame your spouse/partner for cheating. It is a personal choice.

15. At the work place, remain professional with your colleagues. It is easy to build an affair there because you interact with them more than with your spouse.

16. A lot of cheating is happening in churches and religious settings but difficult to detect or even to address because many are hiding behind holy titles and protecting Godly reputations.

17. Many parents think they are hiding their affairs or the effects of their affairs from their children but grown children can pick these things and you are hurting them.

18. Affairs are expensive. They will cost you your time, money, relationship with God and character.

19. Affairs will open up the door for other corrupt ways of your soul like lying, stealing, violence, insults, anger, paranoia and defensiveness.

20. If you are in a relationship/marriage, some people will seduce you into an affair with them, not because they want to spend a lifetime with you; but to use you, to challenge themselves if they can get you, to act on their jealousy of the love you have or because they are a lost storm wrecking their own lives and that of others.

21. If you were to put in to your relationship/marriage the same effort you put in the affair; calling, sweet words, gifts, dates; your relationship/marriage will be strong.

22. The reason why your relationship or marriage is not growing and being blessed is because of your affair.

23. The reason why you have been single for long is because you are entertaining, flirting and sexing taken people.

24. Most affairs drag on because the two cheating despite knowing it is wrong, they keep lying to themselves "Let us meet and do it one last time".

25. A lot of men once they are caught cheating, claim that they are polygamous to cover up and legitimize their infidelity yet they married the wife promising her exclusivity and monogamy.

26. A relationship/marriage can survive and thrive after infidelity only if the cheater changes, puts in the work and the two seek counselling, forgiveness and patiently go through the healing process.

© Dayan Masinde

In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I demistify what being a man is and I address the man's sexuality, emotions, thoughts and struggles.

In my other new book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I talk how a woman can be the best her as an individual, a wife, a mother, a friend and as a believer in God. I also address her sexuality.

To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

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