Some girlfriends give their fellow women the worst advice. These are some of them;
1. If you treat him good, he will take you for granted
This lie has led many women to withhold love from the good man they have. Men need love too and the 100% support of the woman they are with. A good man won't take you for granted when you treat him like a King, instead, he will be inspired even more to love you and value you as his Queen.
2. If he doesn't make you squirt, he is not sexing you right
Some girlfriends make a woman feel abnormal because she doesn't squirt when she climaxes. Lady, what is of importance is you and your husband enjoying sexual pleasure custom made for you two. Some ladies take long to climax, others climax quickly, others climax multiple times in a love making session, others climax once and any further activity becomes painful, some squirt, others cream, others don't yet all enjoy pleasure. Your body is unique, don't try to copy other women's sexual experiences, you will miss out on the beauty of your own.
3. All men are dogs
These words will be said by hurting girlfriends who either made bad relationship choices in the past or whose love life turned sour. It is their hurt speaking, not facts. Women who have a good man or who know of good men and are objective will testify to you that good men exist.
4. If your man is not making you happy, get a man on the side
A lot of girlfriends are encouraging infidelity, most likely because they too are engaging in affairs. Honourable women will tell you not to cheat, that the solution is not you chatting up, flirting or sexing another man but sorting out the issues as a couple.
5. This is the 21st century, you don't need a man
Love is about needing another and being vulnerable. Love is not for people who feel self-sufficient and can easily do away with another. If you desire companionship, listening to such advice will keep you lonely and alone. Truth is, girlfriends can easily fall out with you and leave, so when you find love, keep it.
6. Go for the rich man, your life will be better
A lot of girlfriends advise the woman to leave a man who doesn't have much but really loves her, and convince her to commit to a rich man simply because of his money. Ladies, men know when you are with them for money. And when a man knows you are with him only for money, he will not value you as much. And you too, once you get money you will not value him as much.
7. Don't leave the marriage, all women are suffering
These girlfriends say "Mwanamke ni kuvumilia", encouraging a woman who is in a relationship/marriage where she is being beaten up, financially crushed, destroyed and repeatedly cheated on to stay in it. Women with a low self-esteem don't give the best advice. A good friend will inspire you to love yourself enough to walk out of toxic environments where your life and health is in danger.
8. Wealthy men are players
There is a misconception that a man cannot be wealthy and still be faithful and with character. Some girlfriends think that once a man becomes rich he will change. While some do, there are many wealthy men who value their one and only wife and family.
9. Leave him, there is better out there
Some girlfriends don't understand that sometimes a man and his woman will have disagreements. Instead of encouraging the woman to solve issues with her man, they are quick to give exit routes.
10. To get over your ex, find a rebound love
Some girlfriends immediately after a break up take a woman out to a club, intoxicate her and get her involved with a new man. Lady you don't forget an ex by jumping into bed with another man, you move on through healing and patience in your new season of singlehood.
11. If I am dating a married man, you can do it too
Girlfriends who have sponsors will encourage a woman to join them in this lifestyle. They will even brag about the house they live in and car they drive funded by an affair. Lady, don't be misled into breaking another woman's marriage.
12. When you get a child for him, he will get serious with you
Lady, getting a child with a man who is not serious about you will not make him love you, it will only complicate things further for you as you bring in an innocent child into a chaotic environment.
13. Threaten him that you will leave him, he will fear you
Some girlfriends advise a woman to threaten her man with divorce, not because she wants out but to manipulate him to do what she wants. Once you sow the seeds of uncertainty in your relationship/marriage then your it will begin to get weaken. Relationships and marriages are not governed by threats but by love, the truth and assurance.
14. If he is cheating on you, cheat on him too and you will be even
Love is not a tit for tat game. Just because your man has fallen doesn't mean you deliberately fall to revenge. Just because your man has no values doesn't mean you lose yours. Have your own dignity whether you choose to walk out or stay. Your body is not for revenge.
15. Beat up that side chick, how can she dare do that?
Some ladies incite women into being violent. They incite her to pour acid, shame, harm or attack the side chick. Lady, if your man is cheating on you, the other woman is not the main problem, your man who should have been loyal to you is.
16. You are so weak, I can't do that for my husband Some girlfriends who don't want to love will discourage a woman who wants to love her husband from doing so. They will tell her she is doing too much for her husband. Lady, don't look for opinion of third parties on how much you should love the man you love.
17. Your money is your money; your husband's money is to be used
This advice has brought a lot of conflict in marriages. Lady, why do you work? Isn't it for your family? There is fulfilment in contributing to the needs of YOUR family regardless of how wealthy your husband is; don't rob yourself this fulfilment. Even the Proverbs 31 woman earns for her family, you two are a team.
18. Ask him for money we go blow it up
Some girlfriends are opportunists urging a woman to get money or even steal from her man so they can go party, buy things or travel. Lady, stop being used.
© Dayan Masinde
In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I talk about the benefits of a man loving his woman and how it starts by the man loving himself. I talk about the responsibilities of a man to God, to himself, his family and society. Men are capable of loving.
In my other book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I talk about how a woman can make wise relationship choices, how to inspire love in a man and how a woman carries so many blessings for herself and her man.
To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.
To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.