Reasons why you should not be a rebound

By Dayan Masinde | Tuesday, May 28th 2019 at 12:32
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1. Before you have hopes of love on a new person, make sure you find out if they are properly single or just confused.

2. Before you have hopes of love on a new person, find out why he/she broke up with the ex and if they are blaming everything on the ex without considering their role in the fall out.

3. Before you have hopes of love on a new person, find out when the break up happened. Rebounds happen quickly after the break up. Has the person had time to heal?

4. Before you have hopes of love on a new person, find out if the person constantly talks about the ex. They have not fully moved on if they keep talking about the ex whether positively or negatively.

5. Before you have hopes of love on a new person who was previously married, find out if they were officially divorced, not separated. Separated couples tend to miss each other and reconnect after their issues cool down and they get bored with new love.

6. Before you have hopes of love on a new person, find out how close he/she still is with the ex. Does the person say things like "My ex is my best friend", "You don't understand me as well as my ex"? Cozy exes bring trouble.

7. Before you have hopes of love on a new person who has a child/children with the ex, find out what parental arrangement he/she has with the ex and what is their communication like. Yes, co-parenting is possible but boundaries must be defined.

8. Before you have hopes of love on a new person, don't rush into professing love. Once you profess love there is no going back. Find out what is the person's motive and what is your motive. Some are just looking for a body to sleep with and a new person to cheer them up to try to forget their ex. That is not love.

9. Before you have hopes of love on a new person, find out if you are getting attracted to them out of pity or their past heart break and if they are growing fond of you because you are their hero. Pity connections never last.

10. Before you have hopes of love on a new person, ask yourself if you two have moved on from your exes or you two are just two lost broken hearts fresh from break ups about to complicate each other's lives.

11. Before you have hopes of love on an old friend who has just broken up with his/her ex, ask yourself if the person is turning to you simply because you were the easy target to play a temporary nurse of their broken heart then leave you heartbroken once they heal.

Don't complicate your life by hooking up with someone who doesn't what they want.

© Dayan Masinde

In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I walk with men towards understanding themselves and help women to understand men. I talk about how to be proactive and to cultivate a vision and take charge as a man; plus the man's place in marriage and family. I talk about how to deal with insecurities.

In my other new book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I walk with women towards understanding themselves and help men to understand women. I talk about the woman and her purpose, leading her life, not being a victim of circumstances; plus the woman's place in marriage and family. I talk about how to be emotionally rational.

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To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

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