1. There is a woman with a really good salary but she hides the exact amount she earns from her husband because he is insecure about her doing better than him.
2. There is a woman who is part of a chama with fellow women as they make sound investments and savings but she hides this from her husband because he will keep asking her for money which he misuses.
3. There is a woman who has a thriving side business but she doesn't tell her husband because she is scared that if he knows, he will become lazy and let her take care of everything.
4. There is a woman with a generous heart, every month she makes charity contributions from her own account after she takes care of her family needs but she doesn't involve or tell her husband about it because he accuses her of pretending to be good and mocks her kindness
5. There is a woman who doesn't want to get into business with her husband because he will want to run the business like a dictator excluding her and taking credit for all the success of the company yet she also invested and worked hard for the company's success.
6. There is a woman who no longer wants to be associated with her husband because everywhere she goes, shylocks, friends, banks, tell her that her husband owes them money that she is not aware of.
7. There is a woman who doesn't want her husband to know her bank details because he will keep asking her to borrow money only for him to waste the money and leave the loan all up to her to repay.
8. There is a woman who has bought parcels of land as assets but she hides this from her husband because he will insist everything she has be put under his name and control.
9. There is a woman with a secret bank account. She doesn't tell the husband because she is not sure of a future together, with him having affairs, refusing to financially take care of their children and making her feel that he is doing his family a favour for providing.
10. There is a woman who rejects the idea of a joint account with her husband because in the past, he has taken out money for his own selfish use without telling her but he insists, she must ask for permission from him before she takes a shilling from the account.
11. There is a woman who doesn't disclose how much she has to her husband because he wastes money on betting and alcohol leaving the needs of the family up to her. He doesn't care about how the children will eat, where school fees will come from, so she feels she has to shield the family from his irresponsibility.
12. There is a woman who doesn't put her husband as a next of kin to her assets and wealth because she is not sure about how faithful and loyal he is to the family. He has left the family a few times, threatens divorce, mistreats her and entertains other women. So she puts her children as her next of kin.
13. There is a woman who has taken policy covers and opened educational trusts for the children that the husband is not aware of. For years, she kept telling him they do so for their children but he wasn't interested so she is doing it without him.
14. There is a woman who has two jobs and that is why her time is very precious. She has tried telling her husband about how hard she works and why but he fights her, calling her names and accusing her of being a prostitute.
15. There is a woman who grew up watching her mother being suppressed by her father because the mother had no coin to her name. She has started seeing the traits of her father in her husband and this is why she pushes herself to have economic power. She wants her own money and control over it so that her husband doesn't think he can treat her badly just because he has money and she doesn't.
Women naturally love to love and be supportive, including financially. But once a woman lacks clarity and security from her man, she starts to protect herself and her children from the man who shows lack of stability and direction.
Gentlemen, if you fail to give financial leadership through love for your family, your wife might feel forced to make some decisions that exclude you. Financial leadership doesn't necessarily mean you earning more than your wife, but rather you demonstrating faithfulness, vision, responsibility, teamwork, long-term goals, consistency, that before you please others with your money you take care of your family. You two will work as a team, when love is mutual.
Where there is uncertainty and insecurity, financial transparency is difficult. It is your role as a man to give clarity. Don't use your money to fight your woman, if you do, she might use her money to protect herself and the children from you.
© Dayan Masinde
In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I talk about how men ought to use money to love their family and not use money to give them worth and meaning in life. I caution men about turning against their woman once money checks in.
In my other book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I talk about why a woman should earn her own money and that the Proverbs 31 woman makes her own money. I also caution women against using money to belittle or fight their man.
To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.
To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.