1. Your friends When you hang around some friends they will be OK with you being average. Because they are not progressing, they will also not want you to progress. They will tell you that you are being proud when you have big dreams or when you spend less time with them as you pursue that Masters or PhD, or as you invest in growing yourself. They will want you to still keep doing the things you used to do years ago. If they have messed up love lives, they will encourage you to stay single and fool around or damage your marriage.
2. Your enemies Those people many call haters can make you use so much of your energy defending yourself, fighting them and proving points to them instead of using that energy to build yourself. Stop being distracted by those who are not for you and who don't believe in you.
3. Your affair partnerÂ An affair is an enemy of progress. Affairs are temporary thrills going nowhere. They lead to huge losses of money, time and damaged legitimate relationships and marriages. Say no.
4. Your pastor Some pastors will over spiritualize or demonise everything, they can control you to the point that every move you make you must consult them and when you do, they make decisions to their advantage or channel their fear and misplaced views on you. Honour spiritual authority but remember you too have direct access to God who placed the vision and dreams in your heart. God is a God of progress.
5. Your ex Going to an ex is usually like going back to your old vomit after you had to vomit out what was wrong in your life. Don't keep going back to what you should be running away from. You will go round and round in circles without moving forward.
6. Your chat mates Internet and social media has made many waste precious time in meaningless conversations chatting about things that don't add value. In case you are in Facebook or WhatsApp Groups that add no value and you have chat mates with whom all you do is gossip or talk about sex, get out. You will not progress if you give air time to nonsense. A lot of the people you are chatting with most likely won't be there in your future, don't let them waste your today.
7. Your parents and siblings Sometimes our parents can want to impose on us their outdated philosophies, tribalism, racism, short mindedness and misconceptions. Some parents can be manipulative. Sometimes sibling rivalry can hinder us or the negative opinion of your siblings be used against you. Sometimes when you are the only one in your family who has advanced further, they might despise you, gossip about you or want to pull you down. Love your parents and siblings but teach them to respect your growth and decisions.
8. Your spouse Yes, in as much as you love your spouse, your spouse can also be a stumbling block in your progress. Sometimes your spouse can be your biggest critic or voice of discouragement. Sometimes you might want to grow yourself, go to school, start going to the gym, network with movers and shakers but your spouse is OK with being lazy and mediocre. The ideal would be to grow together as a couple, but if after trying to bring your spouse along he/she looks not interested, maintain the health of the marriage but keep moving. Don't let your spouse hold you back. Your spouse is not your God.
9. Your children Children are a blessing but if you focus only on them and let your entire life revolve around them, you will lose focus. You constantly need growth as an individual, it should never stop when you become a parent. When your children grow up and move out, will you regret neglecting you?
10. Your bullies Some people will bully you because they are jealous of you or insecure. They will tell you things like "You are a loser", "You good for nothing", "You're not like so and so", "You lack motivation"; if you let their words get to you, they will rule over you and keep you from being the best you as the world moves on.
11. YourselfÂ You can easily become your biggest enemy especially if you let fear win or you have a low self-esteem. Perhaps because you have faced setbacks in the past, you are discouraging yourself from believing in you. Perhaps you have great ideas, great business concepts but you don't believe in yourself enough to actualize them. The more you do nothing, the more stuck you will be, the more you will hate your life, the more you will be envious of others who are living their dreams, the more depressed you will be. Stop being self-defeating.
Your growth is your personal responsibility.
Â© Dayan Masinde
In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I walk with men towards understanding themselves and help women to understand men. I talk about how to be proactive and to cultivate a vision and take charge as a man; plus the man's place in marriage and family.
In my other new book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I walk with women towards understanding themselves and help men to understand women. I talk about the woman and her purpose, leading her life, not being a victim of circumstances; plus the woman's place in marriage and family.
To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.
To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.