Soft prostitution among girls is a waste of energy

There’s an expectation most women walk into relationships with. Whether they have money or not, they expect the man to always pick the tab and to take over paying most of their bills, if not all bills.

You would think that with equality most women would be open to paying bills but they are not. It is one part of equality we cannot seem to wrap our heads around and that is exhibited by how women who pay bills for men are frowned upon.

We believe that men love through providing and any woman who settles for anything other than a provider, is seen as one who is lacking self-worth and healthy self-esteem. Women would rather stay alone and pay all their bills than have a man they have to pay bills for.

Although this is a practice born out of centuries of patriarchal practices, I do not know how we are ever going to get to equality if we are not willing to let go of the parts of patriarchy that are beneficial to us.

By imposing material provisions on one party, it means that something will always have to give. Your power, your autonomy, your voice, your freedom of choice and any other thing that men demand of you when they are providing for you fully.

So what’s the point of fighting for equality if you are going to give it up for beautiful nails and hair at the end of the month? And what is so wrong about paying for your own hair and nails?

In truth, there are a lot of women who earn as much as men, and many more who outearn a huge percentage of men, and men still manage to navigate their lives without expecting their haircuts, and house bills to be paid by their partners. Have we ever taken a step back to ask ourselves how men do this?

We go to the same schools. We get the same opportunities as them, and while they are in university planning their futures out as they navigate poverty, we get invested in finding men who just have enough to pay for our nails and hair.

Soft prostitution

It is a commonly accepted practice and I would probably be bashed on the internet if I said this, but I believe teaching girls to participate in soft prostitution from when they are young is one of the greatest impediments towards achieving equality.

Young men go out to work knowing they do not have many choices. They go there knowing they either have to make it or make it. Failing is not a choice because they Know there will be no women lining up to give them money or to make them stay-at-home husbands.

Young women, on the other hand, step out into the world thinking men owe them provision. 

At some point this year, the Supreme Court affirmed that no one is entitled to their partner’s money unless they prove a contribution. Soft prostitution can get you into a marriage but sex is never going to hold up in any court as a tangible form of contribution in marriage. You will get out of the marriage as poor as you were when you walked in and that is no way for women to live.

We have to start teaching women that just like men, they also do not have any other options other than hard work. They have to get out in the world knowing that men are not a bailout plan and that they have to strive to be as rich as the men they aspire to marry.

Young girls should not be on Instagram looking at women who are given the famous soft life by men and think that aspiring to get a man who will give them a soft life full of travel and gifts is a reasonable life plan.

They should be able to look at successful women and think they can be that successful too and get to the status where they can give themselves any comfort they want in life without needing to sleep with someone for it.

There’s beauty in being an independent woman with her own money. It grants you enough power to exist in relationships without walking on eggshells because another person is financing your whole life.