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As women get older, men should focus on quality of sex, not quantity — sexologist

By Brian Guserwa | April 10th 2021

“Men should become better lovers instead of better fuckers,” says sexologist Piet Van Altena.

“The disparity in sexual satisfaction as men and women get older is down to this. Men don’t want to learn to satisfy the lady.”

“Around 30-40 years, the approaching menopause has a side effect on the woman’s libido. Her hormones have been changing up to that point. She has probably had children, too, leading up to her 30s, which shifted her focus from her man to her children. This sexual energy comes back as she approaches her 40s, just before it starts to decrease due to menopause.

But for men, there is no change in their libido throughout their lives. Perhaps there is a decline in performance, due to other factors, but men are able to have sex and produce children until they die.”

“The issue with most men is that when they talk about sex, they talk about rounds. Which means they talk about quantity. I try to talk to men and let them know it’s not about quality, not quantity. Men want to satisfy themselves using the lady, and are not interested in pleasing the woman.”

His advice?

“As they get older, men should refocus on quality, not quantity.”

“Take at least twenty or thirty minutes to play with her body without penetration. Playing with her nipples, for example, sends a signal to her brain which then communicates to her body that she is ready, and lubrication then starts. If her body is not ready and you do it anyway, it’s like rape. If you do foreplay well enough, that might even be enough for her; a large number of women do not achieve orgasm through penetration, but through clitoral stimulation.”

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