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Fix your wallet bro or forget about women forever

By Diana Makokha | October 15th 2021

In today’s world, being responsible or just getting your life together is part of the growth we all talk about. And especially for a man who thinks he’s mature enough to date and eventually make a vow to live with a person of the opposite gender, forever, financial responsibility and stability is the only option! As some would put it, kama huna - kaa na mama yako!

Women have been branded gold diggers simply for wanting the best for themselves. The best that life could offer. They have been made to feel bad for just having standards. Actually, a woman who sets such stability standards is not humble. And fit to date. Sasa si we are taking this humility thingy to a whole new level?

When doing a check on the qualities one would like for their significant other, we have the usual and basic qualities, you know; stable employment, a kind and generous heart, someone who is funny, intelligent, consistent and faithful, et cetera et cetera. We just can’t avoid the financial stability bit. We can’t eat love and affection. There’s no known recipe for steaming, baking or boiling love for dinner.

Being financially secure as a man can be a rewarding feeling because it will make you feel accomplished and ready to take on the world. It gives some sense of security and boosts self esteem. One is able to make plans for his own life and their significant other. But if you’re not, brace for a zillion relationship issues, petty issues, daily. Then eventually grapple with marital problems due to inability to provide for your family.
Our brothers who sneer at women who mostly have their shit together and want an equally already fixed partner, are the reason why Jesus died on the cross! They feel they deserve a certain woman, and if they can’t have her, would brand her a gold digger!
When we say financial security, we really don’t mean those white collar guys with suits and ties chocking them in offices. Just fix yourself. Have something going on for yourself. Have your life and finances organised in a particular manner. Do a mjengo and have a roof for yourself first, then think of a woman to complete the equation.

We are not going to sit here and pretend we don’t want that ride or die mate. That no one wants a good life and we should just date and eventually settle for anything, for humility’s sake. That none of us loves life, and would feel great driving or being driven in some Porsche machine, own an awesome house and take their kid(s) to a great school. So if you’re a man and, perhaps, you’re running into lasses who aren’t interested in dating you due to your undefined and shaky financial status, maybe you should work on becoming a bit more stable in that department before making the step of faith.

Well, gold diggers exist in our midst, but every woman who does not desire to struggle with a man does not fit into this category. We’re smart enough to know this, but we chose violence and refer to normal hard working women as gold diggers.  Also, sometimes, a woman has already struggled in her dating games. She has stumbled, fell, got up and fixed herself.

She is probably 39 or 43. Why do we want to lie to ourselves that a forty-something-year-old financially secure woman would settle for a struggling man who can barely feed himself? Often, a woman knows how her heart is set up, she might have taken up her previous men’s emotional and financial burdens and doesn’t want to revisit the wilderness.

It is usually no different than any other preference someone has regarding a potential mate. Only that this one involves money, is why the gold digging comes in.

No woman is obligated to date a man who is struggling. Let’s not call them broke, for today. So, if and when a woman prefers Mister who is financially stable, secure, let her be. She’s not materialistic as such. She wants her match.
Something to note as far as this whole financial stability thing is concerned is that a woman usually gets attracted by a man’s character and confidence in matters finances, not the actual pay check.

So, instead of finding a reason(s) to discount yourself or calling her greedy, fake, selfish and a gold digger, maybe you should try and step up. Until you are financially stable as a man, fixed your financial security and flexed your financial muscles, don’t go around disturbing people’s daughters calling them gold diggers. Fix your wallet, or stick to your lane. Step up, or step out.                                                                                               
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