Boys to men: Five life lessons every father should teach their sons
In recent times, there have been a blame game between the girls and the boy child. For long, focus has been on empowering girls at the expense of the boy child.
However, the emerging problem is that the boy child has no one to advise him and has been living in confusion.
I said here before that though I am born city, in Buru buru where I grew up, courts were like villages and the neighbours were like your uncles, always ready to advise and check on your discipline.
Again, we had one advantage in that communication was not that advanced, so, we followed more of what we were told. We had little influence from the western world and technology.
1. Make the family name
I will start by saying that as a boy, one should know that being a son means you have a legacy on your shoulders. Meaning, you have a hero in the family tree that you look up for guidance on how to ensure the surname is not soiled. You have the responsibility of protecting your family name. Like standing up to the bullies on behalf of your siblings. Also, in case of disagreement, you are one to be the negotiator. Any time you are in doubt, always remind your self by calling out your family name.
2. Be a great negotiator
Then we come to character as a boy or a man. Always remember what makes a man is the manners and one standing by his principles. A good example, when an older man enters a room, stand up and greet him. This is looked at as a sign of respect. Always be dependable and if one entrusts you with a secret, be able to keep it.
Talk less and show your capabilities especially when negotiating a deal. Then, when negotiating remember you are not desperate and the first offer is just there to test waters. Always have passion in what you do and if you think it it is not there, just leave it and move to another thing. This is reference to a hobby or career.
3. Lessons on borrowing
When you are in a leadership role, always give credit and take the blame. When you go down, always remember to go back to factory settings, reset and start at a lower level. That way, you avoid leaving beyond your means.
Always leave a place better than you found it and this also relates to borrowed things. Give them back in better shape. Common sense is that if you borrow money, add something like 10 per cent on top when you repay.
If you stay at a friend’s place, make sure you take care of some bills. Always put money aside for travelling, as that is what you buy that makes you richer.
4. Be a gentleman
When it comes to relationship as a man, know that character matters a lot. Always be a gentleman with principles and never force a woman especially without her consent. The best way always is to be as patient as a vulture and if you’re not sure better be called a slow man but remember patience is a virtue. Always respect a woman and if you want to know why, visit a maternity hospital and experience the process of giving birth. Never be afraid to approach the woman you think can be your partner.
Chivalry is not dead
When going out with her, always be a gentleman, protect her from the enemies. For example, sleep on the side of the door, walk on the outside, listen, respect and adore her. If she is your wife, remember she has given up her body to carry your lineage. As my wise father used to tell me, remember that a girl is someone’s daughter so treat her the way you would like your daughter to be treated. When you make the decision to make her you life partner, always remember you are not only marrying her but her whole family.
5. Provide for your family
In summary, as a boy child, you have to hustle in life. Work smart or hard to make your dreams come true. One has to provide the family’s basic needs and family has to come first. One has to focus and prioritise things such as health insurance, education and saving for the future. Money has to be respected or else it will abuse you. Let them call you mean but you are taking care of your hard earned money.
When angry, breath in first and think before reacting and always be confident and humble at the same time. A good comparison of a boy child is a duck, where one remains and looks calm but he is actually paddling like crazy underneath to make ends meet.
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