Pleasing a woman is a thankless job

One of the lessons men should impart to their sons by the age of 10 is that pleasing and satisfying a woman is a thankless job. It is like trying to water the desert with a teaspoon or painting the sky blue.

I must admit from the word go that there are fine and contented women out here. Bless them. However, many women in Nairobi are inadvertently piling excessive pressure on men by pushing them to live beyond their means. You probably know a young man who is constantly borrowing money to take his woman out. Some fools actually borrow money to take women on vacations. And we know many adult males of sane mental status living between loans to sustain a middle-class lifestyle that has neither life nor style. It is tough being a man, I tell you. Ideally, our sole business of existence is to please women (at least for us straight chaps).

“All the money in the world will be useless without women,” observed shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis (who married Jackie Kennedy, President John F Kennedy’s widow). The problem is some men end up pleasing women to a point of sacrificing their lives unknowingly.

Men who are carnally and mentally weak can be a disgrace. How do you justify buying a car as a gift to your mistress when your nephews and nieces are not in school for lack of fees? We are always advised to steer clear of gold diggers when dating. But when a gold-digger is a beautiful woman, richer men care less as long as they can satiate their pelvic thirsts.

Mistresses and gold-diggers are what I call high-maintenance women. And they are financially ruinous to misguided dudes of modest financial muscle. A high-maintenance woman has combined gold-digging traits and mistress tendencies rolled into one. Mostly, they are beautiful or have a certain charm about them that dulls a man’s brain. Yet they can never support him and rarely have mothering skills. They are lazy, and their only contribution to a relationship is ideas on how the man’s money should be burnt.

They will die sooner than wash and scrub your floor for fear of tampering with their pretty nails. As for dinner, the man will endure badly cooked meals or eat out for the rest of his life. He will have to employ a house help to raise the kids. By the time a man realizes he married a fraud, he is staring at a very expensive divorce and a ruined life. Unfortunately, the spineless men who fall for them rarely have the balls to rein them in. 

@nyanchwani  snyanchwani@standardmedia.co.ke