What women want is still a mystery to men

By - Jan 1st 1970

These sons of Adam are empirical about what they want in life. In most cases, they want to drive a BMW X6, marry a light-skinned woman, and buy a home in Karen in the same neighbourhood as the CBK governor or the People’s president. If success persists in following him, they will go out for a second wife, lighter in skin complexion, slim, and more sophisticated than the first mistake he made when he was young and stupid.

We however start out in one direction and could end up swept completely offshore depending on many factors we might encounter as we age. As maturity sets in, our priorities begin to shift and an otherwise submissive wife would suddenly wade into the pressures of wanting to be in charge and in control of proceedings under her roof. Most of the time we are very scattered emotionally and we somehow want a partner that can be switched on and off into various roles and is expected to perform them with the perfection of a seasoned artist. For us, men should be like a hypermarket with everything under one roof – romantic, fatherly, sensitive, brave, successful, and stupid when called upon.

As life progresses, men remain steadfast in their view of what they want from us. They want us to remain slim, meek, and beautiful as the girl they met two decades ago in college. On the other hand, we all want our men strong enough to kill a lion, as Samson did. We also expect that when we demand they should readily fall asleep and switch to a weak mode like the husband of Delilah and freely spew all secrets about the side hustles he does and the extra accounts he puts money into. We expect them to have bodies like Seth Rollins yet we are not willing to let them go to the gym because they might run into some gorgeous young women who threaten our territory. We want them to build mega business empires that can give us the comforts of life but we also don’t want them to keep the company of the market leaders who are in most cases randy alpha males who do their meetings past midnight in far-flung places away from the city. It may be lovely admiring the empire of Mike Sonko from a distance, but how many of us can bear the strain of being his wife?

What women want

The man is confused about what we want exactly. One minute we are demanding equality and the right to be heard and respected. The next minute we are emotional wrecks who just want to be cuddled and soothed to sleep because we are ostensibly overburdened by emotions. When we talk, we want to be listened to as equals and expect opinions of possible solutions. However, on other days when the men wear their objective hats and are ready to engage us from an objective standpoint, we suddenly realize that we actually only needed them to listen to us, feel our emotions, and say nothing back to us.

It’s arguable sometimes that the changes we go through cause instability in the energies in the house that disturb the original equilibrium causing men to look for new sources of balance, usually in the form of a younger woman that is still willing to respect them as superiors in their space and take their counsel, even if unnecessary some times. The shift can go even more physical when in the forties, our hormones go overboard and we are suddenly the more dominant ones in the bedroom while their energies start to wane off. This kind of shift can come with renewed confidence when we are finished with childbearing and comfortable enough to explore boundaries beyond the confines of the good girl image. Our men are suddenly met with a completely different animal happy to even explore BDSM in the run-up to menopause.

Men, shocked beyond their wildest imaginations, believe we are the most unpredictable beings.

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