Polygamy is ugly, archaic, period!
By - Jan 1st 1970
Viva Polygamy and other short stories of our daily lives and beyond. So, when the Lord was done creating the universe, created stars, and saw that it was beautiful, He decided to create man. A human being who would take care of the beauty of the universe. Done! Then the Good Lord saw that it was not good for man to live alone. He tiptoed when he (man) was dead asleep, probably dreaming of milk and honey, took his rib, and made him a helper. He’d then call the helper, a woman. Praise God, brethren.
Up to that moment, dear brothers and sisters, we all agree that it was God’s choice for a man to have a woman by his side. A woman who would, according to the Lord Himself, help him in small things here and there, perhaps including and not limited to giving him offspring as they do this life together like a couple. Why didn’t God create women for his man? Like, three, four, or even seven? So where do y’all extract this hullabaloo about Viva Polygamy from? Why have you deviated from the teachings of the Holy Book, you descendants of the foolish Galatians? I know you’ll want us to talk about King Solomon. Not today, Zakayo!
The trauma and suffering that comes with polygamy is something we’re not ready to have a conversation about. The ugly side of this Viva coin. The painful side. The quarrels, sibling rivalry, witchcraft stories, and even deaths, are the chapters we want to draw a big line when we read this Polygamy anthology. One or two, out of ten men can equally take care of three women and fourteen children.
Anyone who was brought up in a polygamous family will agree that at some point if not always, things got or get so thick that they almost turn tragic. The women in such a setting seldom agree with each other. Come on, y’all are ‘fighting’ for the same medal, I don’t know how it would be so easy to coexist and agree on the terms of the marriage. Then the kids! It’s what they see their moms doing and going through, that makes them who or what they become when they grow into adults.
Polygamy needs wisdom. And I doubt God gave Adam, the first man, the wisdom to have multiple women. The love some of these men claim to share amongst their women is all on their lips. The fights and ‘bad eyes’ between these women and their kids are comparable to none. The neglect especially of the first family when all the attention shifts to the small house. There’s very little or completely no love and cohesion amongst siblings and sometimes most times, it builds up right into adulthood.
We shall keep singing Viva Polygamy until Kingdom come but this whole thing is selfish. I know you’ve at some point witnessed, or even read about Polygamous families fighting at funerals after the death of their father each family accusing the other. It’s ugly. A bunch of bitter children who were brought together by equally bitter parents because of the rivalry and craving for attention or lack of it, from a man who was supposed to love them and their mother.
We can’t rule out the fact that there are united Polygamous families within us and all 47 kids from the same father but five different mothers love each other to the moon and back, but how many of such can we write home about? How many first wives gladly welcomed their co-wives and lived happily ever after with the love of their lives? It’s easier said. A lot happens behind the scenes!
Polygamy sympathisers will tell us how “Polygamy ensures that every woman has a husband’. Lies. Fat ugly lie! I chuckle when I read this because why can’t women be given the same luxury? Of having three men with her? This is just some sort of reprehensible, low-key sexism that forces women into an inferior position to men and turns them into status objects. I don’t know if there has ever been consensual polygamy! Especially from the first wife.
No sane woman in love will consent to polygamy. A woman in love can’t share won’t share her man in the name of ‘every woman should have a man’. A woman who is ‘okay’ with her man having other women is simply tired and doesn’t really care about anything. Consensual could be, was, and is, because she totally has no option neither does she have a voice. Isn’t this low-key patriarchy?
Three women cooking for and getting laid by one man is patriarchy, consensual or otherwise.
Man flees after finding body of woman buried on his land