Wife material: Why men still prefer kienyeji wives over bad girls
The year is 2023 and it's “Out with the good girls and in with the bad girls.”
At any given time, you can find Njoki Murira setting up her tripod and placing her ring light to just the right brightness in preparation to bless her 2.3 million Tik Tok followers with another video showing off her voluptuous curves. She knows if her bum jiggles just right and she hits the right angles she’s going to have another viral video. Njoki’s viral videos where she exposes her assets have reportedly made her enough money to build her parent's home.
Njoki is not the first lady to capitalize on her figure. In fact, socialites such as Vera Sidika, Huddah Monroe, Amber Ray, and many others have been doing this for years and get paid shocking amounts of money to promote brands such as “flat tummy tea” to look like them. They also get paid to host events at clubs which they fill to capacity, all off their beauty and reputation for being titillating. Recently, Huddah shocked netizens when she took to her Instagram to show proof of a cheque she received for Sh1 million to host at a club for one night.
Huddah has been accepting of the title of “bad girl” saying “I don’t think the only purpose of a woman on earth is to give birth”.
These ladies are proof that abandoning the traditional values that society puts on women to be ‘modest and pure’ doesn’t pay nearly as much as being provocative and risqué.
According to Oxford Research Encyclopedias, the birth of the 1920s flapper girl, also known as the “modern woman” started the trend of progressive women.
These women embodied characteristics that would make the traditional woman shriek with horror with her short skirt, visible makeup, and leisure-filled lifestyle. The new woman laughs in the face of traditional values.
The last two decades have been somewhat of an ode to the bad girl. This multifaceted woman values making her own decisions, from what she wears to what she does.
This woman is taking up spaces in business and being unapologetically herself with the confidence that is usually reserved for men.
The modern woman or the “bad girl” has obliterated societal norms which tell women to do for others first, before themselves, and to hold values such as purity, domesticity, and submissiveness in high regard.
In the past a woman’s place was in the kitchen, to be seen not heard
These days she not only runs the kitchen but owns a chain of restaurants and her word is law. She is in control; she is not afraid to speak up. She laughs in the face of modesty and owns her sexuality. Just like the late great Whitney Houston sings “I’m every woman”.
Back in the day, this type of unladylike behaviour was unacceptable. How dare you own your sexuality? In fact, today's modern woman would be labeled by all kinds of names by traditional standards. A harlot, a floozy, a Jezebel, or a loose woman.
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But ladies such as Amber, Vera, and Diana Bahati have shown that they can exude sexual energy and still runs the home as a taken woman. Their partners have shown to be supportive of them and are proud to show them off, which rattles traditional men.
Traditional men have the view that these types of women are to be used to satisfy their sexual needs and to have fun with but to be dumped when they’re ready to settle into marriage. The woman they choose to marry should be pure, domestic, and submissive. That is what society tells them is acceptable.
The traditional man scoffs at these ladies, they dress too immorally, they drink like fish, and they would rather get a takeout meal than cook after a long day of work.
And yet, those same men can be accounted for in Njoki Muriras views, he likes all the videos, and her name rests comfortably in his search bar. You might even find him in her direct messages lusting over the videos.
But where does that leave the traditional woman?
The traditional woman is still the most sought-after when it comes to marriage.
Her role as the lady of the house who takes care of the family and whose focus is on children and the happiness of the family is still regarded as the epitome
The traditional woman is for the traditional man. He knows that although he may entertain the immoral woman, he will not marry her.
Indian writer for “She The People”, Rudrani Gupta writes about this standard in the Indian community where the men date modern and marry traditionally, saying, “It is a very common perspective among men that a modern, jeans-wearing and English-speaking woman is perfect girlfriend material. But she is not fit enough to be a wife material whose submissive and obedient to her husband and enjoys traditional skills like cooking and cleaning.
This is the woman he sees as a role model for his children. However, the bad girl is here to stay.
Socialite Huddah Monroe has been accepting of the bad girl role saying “I don’t think the only purpose of a woman on earth is to give birth”.
The City University of New York explained that the New Woman is the term used to describe women who were pushing against the limits that society imposed on women.
Today she might be called a liberated woman or feminist. The New Woman typically values self-fulfillment and independence rather than the stereotypically feminine ideal of self-sacrifice.
She believes in sexual equality
She often remains single because of the difficulty of combining such equality with marriage. She is more open about her sexuality than the ‘Old Woman’.
Have a look around at the women who are envied in society right now, most are living modern lives, making their own money, and living life on their own accord.
They have managed to build an empire of their God-given assets.
They look very different from the traditional housewives. In fact, some of these women have taken over the traditional role of the husband as the breadwinners in some cases.
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