Deadbeat dads: If men don't want to be responsible fathers, women should just buy sperm


All that women hear nowadays is that if they are going to get pregnant, they should ensure they can support the kid with or without the help of a man.

It is now universally accepted that parenting is a choice for men and that they can bolt out when the going gets tough or when they stop being in love with the kid’s mother. It is also universally accepted that men are not dependable. From the time we were children, our mothers insisted on the importance of having your own money as a woman and they weren’t wrong. If you have a child and lack a stable source of income, you are most likely going to suffer.

Men can deny pregnancy even though they have been inside you a thousand times before. And more often than not, pregnancy never affects them in any way. It only affects women because it is a process that intimately happens inside of us.

The only way to escape it is through a termination that does not impact the man who got you pregnant at all. It is a process you go through by yourself. It is also common knowledge that the only way you can escape single motherhood is by choosing not to have a child. Married women end up being single mothers after years of marriage just like young unmarried women who get pregnant by their lovers.

Men treat child support like a favour to women and not like a responsibility to their children. They wield it to assert their power and dominance and stop participating in parenting when they do not feel like it. To them, children are always a bargaining chip and collateral damage in situations they do not feel like being in.

If these scenarios have shown us anything as a society, then it is that the role of men as fathers is becoming redundant. They have reduced themselves to biological sperm donors and more often than not, it is other people close to the mother who take up the responsibilities of the father.

We have so many children who do not know who their fathers are because the fathers chose not to be known to them. We have mothers who are forced to lie that the men they birthed with died because they vanished as ghosts. It’s at that point that one begins to wonder what the essence of giving birth for men is if they are not interested in showing up for fatherhood.

If society keeps telling women that men are not going to be responsible for their children and that you need a stable income before you bring a child into this world, then we need to start rethinking and changing our methods of reproduction.

Women cannot continue to get pregnant for people who do not have any qualms about walking away from parenting or being stressed. It is simply not worth it. Dealing with baby daddies in itself is not easy. From the emotional blackmail and inconsistencies that leave a child heartbroken to dealing with someone who could take away your child to frustrate you or doesn’t provide at all but feels he should have access to you and your child.

If men have reduced themselves to sperm donors, what’s the point of having a sperm donor who is going to add nothing more to your life than constant trouble? Sperm goes for Sh50,000 locally and does not come with baby daddy drama. It makes more sense to get pregnant artificially. If men have rendered themselves useless, women should discard them as fast.