When sin evidence trails you home
BY ARNOLD CANGAINI
In early 1980's, a typical scenario was a drunken husband reporting home at dawn with lipstick marks all over his shirt. Today, a cheating husband is assured of not carrying coloured marks back home.
However, infidelity evidence is like a curious cat, no matter how you lock it out of the bedroom, it will sneak in and purr in your bedcovers.
Lydia Nafula recalls how she brought home an expensive ring.
"I met a spectacular man from Uganda while attending a conference in Kampala. After the encounter, he gave me a precious ring," she narrates.
The husband immediately enquired where she had sourced the cash to buy such expensive jewellery.
"I concocted a tale and he listened keenly before dismissing it. He knew I had cheated," she says.
Maxwell Macharia lost his job and wife at a go. His wife was going through his bag when she bumped into his diary.
"I had a hunch there was something important I had forgotten at home," he says. When his wife read the contents, she did not wait for his return. She just packed and sent him a text message announcing the end of the marriage. They are now fighting in a divorce court. "Since then, I don’t keep a diary," he says.
"I should have learnt how to control my anger," laments Oliver Onyango. Oliver ‘lectured’ his mistress through the phone not knowing the wife was within earshot.
"I had received a very irritating text message from my mistress’s boyfriend.
"I just dialled his number to humiliate him. However, I ended up humiliating myself and breaking up my family. My wife could no longer stay with me," he laments bitterly.
Josephat Wanjau had double-checked everything before he rang the doorbell at midnight. However, on being let in, his wife looked him straight in the eyes and demanded an explanation. As usual, he whined about a wife who always pushes him to work overtime due to her poor spending habits.
"And the boss is generous enough to give his employees some exotic feminine colognes as motivational rewards?" asked his wife sarcastically.
"Instantly, my anger disappeared and was shocked," he says. "Next time you will not pick a perfume scent, but an incurable disease," warned his wife as she disappeared to the bedroom.
Although his wife forgave him, he swore never to cheat again.
Catherine learnt her lesson when she was nearly caught by her husband. The 28-year-old accountant had an affair with her boss.
"I would call my husband my boss’s name inadvertently," she confesses. "Although I pretended the boss was always on my mind because he was stressing me up, hell almost broke loose when my husband found me another job," she says.
The boss would send her romantic text messages and emails regularly. "To be safe, I told my husband that my former boss was stalking me by disclosing the text messages. I stopped the affair by changing my phone number and blocking him in every social site we shared. However, I thank God I never mentioned his name when we were making love. That would have been a new story altogether," she says.
Bill Otieno was not lucky. He pocketed a lodging receipt and forgot to discard it. He went to the bathroom. But an innocent call from his wife turned out to be a shocker.
"My wife called me from the bedroom to see a horrific vampire in a movie she was watching that evening. The vampire was on screen, but a red lodging receipt was displayed conspicuously on the table," he says.
What was supposed to be a sleep-over in friend’s house turned to a rest at a guest house. Bill had a hard time explaining the presence of the receipt in the inner pockets of his coat.
Bill is not alone. Melisa Kathure, a 26-year-old banker, ended up pocketing her lover’s car keys. Her husband noticed the keys but Kathure feigned surprise for picking her ‘workmate’s’ keys.
"It was a terrible mistake. I know Waithera must be in a bad fix by now," she told her husband to distract him. However, minutes later, she switched on her phone and received a text message from her lover. Unfortunately, her husband noticed the surprise on her face and confiscated the phone.
"It marked the end of our three year marriage. The text message revealed how my lover had tried to reach me to get the car keys in vain. He was doomed to spend the whole night in the cold," she says.
"Women are fond of playing these games," quips Robert Nyaga, a 33-year-old father of two. Nyaga brought home a teddy bear after a business trip.
"My wife was shocked when she found an attached love note addressed to me," he recalls. The note illustrated the sexual escapades they had in Zanzibar beaches. The girl said she would miss him so much.
Cindy Waceke, a cateress, found herself in the company of a furry animal from her lover’s household. Unfortunately, without the knowledge of his wife, Cindy’s husband announced that he was harbouring a stray dog and wanted the owner to claim it.
"Since my lover thought I was single, he came over to get the dog. Overcome by emotion, he threw himself at me and planted a kiss on my lips. That was more than an appreciation gesture from a dog’s owner. We parted with my husband the same evening," she recalls.
"The word ‘wonderful’ did the miracle," says Lucy, a 35-year-old mother of three. Her husband imported the ‘wonderful’ phrase and kept using it at home. However, Lucy’s friend enquired why Lucy and her husband insisted on ‘wonderfying’ everything. Lucy discovered her husband was having an affair with a single mother who kept using the word.
"I nipped the affair before it went far. Although my husband regretted his evil ways, the incident taught me to be wary of new things in the house, including phrases," she says.
Ashton Kinyua, a retired military psychologist says being caught is the work of our subconscious mind.
"Conscious cheating is associated with the fear of being caught. You should be very keen. Cheats just drop hints unknowingly and when they sense the person will know, they change the topic abruptly," he advises.
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