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Evolution of the mating dance

By | May 18th 2009

By Tony Ngare

Last week I came across a love letter in my archives that I received while still in Form Two. It transported me back in time. Back then, love was simple and involved constant exchanges of letters often written on scented writing pads.

However, today’s dating has truly changed. It has become a very complicated affair. I consulted my pals Frao and Stella and they both agree that dating has become such a convoluted exercise nowadays.

The first date

This is a most unnerving affair. Anything you say can and often is used against you. On the other hand, you don’t want to come across as the boring type. You also are not too sure what to order. If you order just coffee you look a bit cheap and plain. If you order some fancy sounding cake or any other accompaniment you may end up scaring your partner away. What to do now?

The exciting phase

This is when the foundation of the relationship is laid. Things are smooth and everything seems to fit your plans. You can exchange several text messages in a day.

At this stage she will offer to clean the dishes and perhaps even your dirty underwear.

The comfortable phase

It’s at this stage that a person drops one’s guard and becomes ‘the real you’. You no longer get hurt over small inconveniences; after all you have established that you are the only one on the scene. Coffee with friends is no longer a scary statement. It’s at this time that you are able to break wind in his or her presence and feel nothing about it. After all it’s just but a biological function.

The break-up

According to experts, any formidable relationship must initially suffer some break-up (I’m not talking about coalition governments). It’s for this reason that if your relationship hasn’t suffered some sort of heartache, then it has not matured. I suggest you pray very hard that the break-up comes soon, for it’s only after this that rebuilding commences.

getting back together

If you have reached this far, you were meant to be together. The getting back together essentially means that you have given yourselves time out and do realise that you need each other.

The next reasonable thing is to jump into baby-making ventures, but please don’t litter them like a rat. It’s advisable to bite only what you can comfortably chew.

Today’s dating is a very complicated affair.

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