Desperate times and desperate measures

By Ibrahim Ndamwe

Right from the day when one Mary Muthoni, a Mau Mau activist, chastised men to pass their trousers to women if they didn’t have the guts to fight for the release of jailed politician Harry Thuku, citizens have learnt to employ the most outrageous, even macabre forms of political protest.

To her credit, she paid for her bravery with her life, one among the hundred or so who were mowed down by colonial bullets that day. But that was about the last time a politician walked their talk.

With the exception of James Orengo, who in his youthful days would charge into any political melee, sniff teargas and endure the pain of truncheons with his troops, politicians breathe fire but take cover at the slightest hint of trouble.

Thus, when you hear a politician pontificating about mass action, rest assured that even before the first shops are looted and angry cops arrive, he will long have been whisked off by armed aides to safety. Alternatively, he might just pull a Kalembe Ndile and race for dear life.

In Raila’s supremacy fights over control of Ford Kenya with the late Vice-President Wamalwa Kijana, they each bared and thumped their chests. But when matters came to head, it was their militia throwing axes at each other while the two power men cowered on the VIP dais surrounded by bodyguards.

Cowardly leaders

In the run up to the 2007 bungled election, politicians Omingo Magara and William Ruto gatecrashed an opposition political rally after days of chestthumping at press conferences.

But when war cries ensued and Chinkororo arrows began flying, the two brave warriors lit out of that place faster than lightning. As we speak, some activist is trying to auction a shoe they left behind as a peace totem.

Usually, politicians scream about mass action and their firm desire to lead their troops to war. But as soon as police are espied a kilometre away, they sprint like rabbits into the nearest hotel. Here, they watch their followers getting bludgeoned as they sip chilled mineral water and chat animatedly on expensive mobile phones.

Much earlier in the Moi era, women leaders led peasant women into a hunger strike at Uhuru Park and urged them to strip naked in protest. But when the teargas and press cameras started rolling, and the old women bared their wrinkles, their leaders didn’t even bother to strip a stocking in solidarity.

Great disservice

Thus, any woman who takes Fida seriously and denies her mate conjugal rights will be doing herself great disservice. Chances are the instigators of this boycott will continue indulging even as they preach water and abstinence for Mama Mboga.

But, and this is just a thought, if every politician’s mistress engaged a stop order, political wrangling would stop long without the Speaker being compelled to chant, "Order!"