Why I infect men with HIV and don’t regret it

Finally her dream had come true. After years of hard work and searching for a job under the scorching sun, she had landed herself a job in one of the most prestigious corporate companies in Kisumu County.

This was a life changing moment for her. It was time to kiss poverty goodbye. Moving out of the shanty settlement in Obunga was great news. She was tired of the hard life and the insecurity of Obunga slums.

“I remember that day vividly as if it had occurred yesterday. It was on February 14, 2015 a day that is commonly branded as the day of love worldwide .A day where God had finally smiled down on me. Moreover I was also celebrating my birthday on that day.”

“Out of excitement and joy I decided to invite my friends out to celebrate the good news. We enjoyed ourselves to the full and at around 11pm I decided to go back home. I regret each day for leaving my friends and going back home alone. I should have stayed behind with them then just maybe this could not have happened to me.

On arrival to my house two men approached me. I could tell that they were not sober from the stench of bhang that came out from their mouths when they talked. ‘Madam usijaribu kukimbia ama kupiga nduru. Simama hapo’, ‘Madam don’t you dare run or scream. Stop there,’ they said to me, I froze instantly.

My heart was pounding and I felt as if it would come out of its ribcage. I was shaking like a leaf on a branch on a windy day. “Leta pesa”, “give us money,” one of the guy asked. The only money I had on me was Sh20 which I immediately gave to them. However, their intention was not to just rob me and leave instead they wanted more.

Things happened so fast before I could comprehend what was going on. One of them had forcefully opened the door to my house the next minute, I was on the floor as the other guy was furiously reaping off the dress I had on. I begged him to use a condom because I knew about the risks but my plight fell on deaf ears. He raped me as his friend watched. After satisfying his needs he got up, put back his clothes on and they left me lying there.

Fear crippled me. I didn’t want people to find out what had happened to me that night, therefore I didn’t seek any medical help nevertheless dare go to the police to report what had happened to me. I was just wondering what people would say especially my friends if they found out I was raped. ‘Would the society really accept me?’ I decided it would be better if I kept it to myself.

After two weeks I started getting sick. Rashes were all over my body and I had swollen lymph nodes. I decided to go to the hospital where I was tested and the results confirmed I was not only pregnant but also HIV positive .At that moment I wish the earth could open and swallow me alive.

It was after that moment that my life lost its meaning. I became repulsed by men and all I felt towards them was nothing more than hatred. I aborted the pregnancy and vowed not to go down alone. I have been infecting men with the disease. So far I have infected more than 10 people and I don’t regret it. A man ruined my life by snatching away all the hopes and dreams I had from me and as the saying goes, ‘tit for tat is a fair game.”

Those were her last words as she walked away to infect another man who had just called her to go sleep with her.

This girl is not alone. Many women here in Kisumu fall victims to rape and tend to keep quiet because they are afraid that the society will judge them harshly and stigmatize them. Clearly rape is one of the greatest violations of human rights and it should be stopped. The perpetrators of this inhumane act should be punished. They are monsters and monsters don’t fit in our societies.

We also need to give a voice to rape victims. By doing this more people will open up and seek help. Civic education on rape is also needed in Kisumu County. Men need to be involved in this process if we are to stop rape in Kisumu County.