Single, lonely Budalang'i men up in arms over lack of women to marry

Heartbroken and infuriated by lack of marriage prospects, a bunch of fed up lonely bachelors in Budalang’i constituency, Busia County are up in arms.

The rate at which women have been turning down marriage proposals in some locales in the constituency, citing perenial floods as a major deal-breaker has thrown the young men into panic.

Bored by sleepy village life and fear of being trapped in the areas to face regular vagaries of bad weather, young women have been rejecting marriage proposals from local men.

“No woman wants to be married here. The moment you reveal to a woman that you hail from this area, chances of her rejecting you are very high. No matter how much dowry you promise, the girls would hear none of it,” says Laban Kuya, a 34-year-old resident of Bukoma area in Budalangi, Busia County who claims to be single and searching.

.

Keep Reading

•  Government splashes Sh100m for tourists comfort zones in counties
•  All our constitutional reform initiatives have been on roller coaster
•  Human cases of bird flu 'an enormous concern': WHO
•  Ruto in Times 100 most influential people
•  EACC recovers Sh100 million land in NakuruPremium

Interestingly, it’s not just women from other areas who have been rejecting marriage proposal from men in the locale. 20-year-old Nancy Khaoya, a local girl, can’t stand the place either.

“I don’t want to be married here. I can’t wait to get a man from far to take me away. It’s not just me, most of the girls here prefer men from Uganda, Bungoma, Kakamega or Kisumu,” Khaoya says.

If marriage plans went as he had wished, 37-year-old Bruno Oduor would probably be a proud father of at least three children by now, or so he thinks.

Unfortunately, Lady Luck has deserted him. He is neither married nor dating. “Women are so cared of starting a relationship with us; they fear it might lead to marriage,” he says.

Bragging that he is blessed with the right honey-coated romantic lines, Oduor dispels the perception that his status has anything to do with his inability to woo women.

“My single-hood is beyond my control. I have always wanted to start a family, but the odds seem to be against me,” says Oduor who also hails from Bukoma area.

Oduor’s problems began when a woman he had dated for a year rejected his marriage proposal the moment she discovered he comes from the flood-prone area.

Despite unsuccessfully trying to get married three times, he says he can’t move out of the area, as some of the potential suitors have demanded of him, because of the fertile land he inherited from his father.

Like Oduor, there are many other young men whose marriage prospects have hit a snag, merely because they come from the area, with potential suitors citing the perennial floods as a deal breaker.

Panic-stricken men

“But I am not alone, many other young men go through the same. I, for instance, can’t remember the last time I saw a wedding around here,” he says.

Apparently, having been victims, or seen people suffered in camps after being displaced by perennial floods in the area, local girls consider getting married away as their only way out.

“Why would I settle down with a man from here and continue suffering as it has been the case since my childhood? Even after the floods, this area remains swampy for weeks,” says Lucia Adika, a 24-year-old local woman who, in her own admission, can’t wait for a prince charming to take her away.

Elias Wanyama, 38, is another lonely victim of the marriage boycott in Igingo, another flood-prone area.

Wanyama got married three years ago and has a two-year-old child. He says when he met his wife who comes from neighbouring Funyula constituency, she had no clue he hailed from Igingo.

For the three years they lived together in Busia Town, where he worked as a supermarket attendant, his wife never visited Wanyama’s rural home.

Wanyama also never disclosed to her the exact location — knowing too well the consequences — till they got a child, whom he thought was to make the marriage divorce-proof.

Unfortunately for Wanyama, his wife left him in March last year immediately he lost his job and relocated to his rural home in Igingo.

“She accused me of having kept her in the dark, saying that she can’t live in Igingo for fear of floods. The thought of living in camps when Mother Nature wreaks havoc did not make matters any better. She left me and has been demanding l buy land elsewhere before she comes back. Unfortunately, my salary cannot afford land,” says Wanyama.

Alexander Awiti, 30, another local, says among the many other effects of this sad state of affairs is that the population of the area is slowly reducing.

Awiti says after two local girls in the area rejected his marriage proposals, demanding that he first moves away, he decided to try his luck with a woman from Kitale, in Trans Nzoia County who worked at a nearby Port Victoria with an NGO.

They started off well, but after two months hell broke loose. The moment she discovered he hails from the flood-prone Bukoma, she slowly began drifting away. Before long, she cut off communication.

Some of the panic-stricken young men are now calling the local authorities to use their influence to persuade women to give them a chance.

“The authorities build dykes three years ago to stop flooding, but still women are not interested in settling with down around here at all,” says Wanyama. Clearly, when it rains in Budalang’i, it just doesn’t pour, it also muddies the dating scene!