Marry a 'mshamba' and shape him into a husband

Women are blessed with instincts sharper than those of wildcats. Instead of using this to sniff out financially stable men, they should instead use their intuition to fish out men of character. That is one thing money cannot buy. There are men who are only denied opportunities either by default or design, but who wield potential that if exploited, can change the world. Those are the kind of men smart women go for. Help him untap the potential by being there, encouraging him and giving him support. Tomorrow, you will enjoy all the trappings of his success and he will forever respect you because you had his back when he was a nobody.

When he speaks passionately about his dreams; when his eyes glitter every time he tells you that he will work hard to make things better, marry him! When he has nothing to offer but wipes your tears with his bare hands when you cry, stick with him.

No money in the world can measure up to the genuine love of a man. Life is too short and material things do not guarantee bliss. It’s better to wake up on a mat next to a man who watches you while you sleep rather than waking up in a 10 by 10 bed next to a mean guy who does not care if you die in your sleep.

Sisters, it is agreeable and only normal to set standards when it comes to who you date or probably marry.

However, be realistic and logical while at it. When you insist on dating only men with cars, yet your father never owned even a wheelbarrow, don’t you think that is expecting too much from fate? If you think owning a car is child’s play, then how about you get yours!

It is wrong for a young woman to derive fulfilment from other people’s achievements. Instead of focusing your energy on getting an already made man, focus on making yourself and a made man will find you. Well, as they say, real gets real, right? Get a good education and make yourself independent, both in the mind and financially.

When you don’t have a certificate in any field, live in a single room, can barely afford rent, was raised upcountry, has never sampled a gourmet meal and no one in your extended family even owned a bicycle, why are you insisting on dating only the most polished and successful men?

These are the same women who after snubbing good guys during their heyday, flock churches and dubious seminars to look for husbands.

If you are lucky enough to find a man of status, then Amen! But if you find one whose only possession is his name but treats you like a queen, by all means marry him!

However, some men are ungrateful. You stand by him when he is a nobody and once things get better, he forgets and dismisses you, disrespect sets in and selective amnesia rears its ugly head.

 If he does that to you, remind him whichever way you can, within the confines of the law of course, that what is unacceptable on earth, is unacceptable in heaven.