So we enter the last week of the April hols with the latest slangski on the streets.

Kiddos, take out your exercise books n copy this.

Anda – ‘Kidogo sana.’ Nilihanda huyo muluhya hotelini, lakini ile ugali alinipea jo, ilikuwa anda!

Afraha – ‘To be very happy.’ Nime-afraha leo kwa sababu chali wa mine alinipeleka drinks huko Arfa Lounge tao alafu baadayes tuka-watch Jungle Book uko iMax.

Baithe – ‘By the way.’ Mvaite, baithe, umeskia hio wimbo By the Way by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers?

Barkiski – ‘Long footed.’ Jana tulienda njaro fulani tukakutana na mbwa ka ya Baskervilles, ika bark, basi Kip akakimbia ka baiskeli na hiso barkiski zake.

Bensouda – ‘A very important person.’ Fatou ni ka-bensouda lakini kuna vile Uhunye ha-mfeel.

Bafe – ‘A feared person.’ Kuna vile Ocampo zamo alikuwa bafe mpaka hizo envelope za Waki ziki-land, Juliani alikuwa anaimba wimbo za Salvation on the spot.

Bogof – ‘Being cheap.’ Bogonko ni boy bogof kabisa, alisema Easter tunaenda Lake Bogoria hotelini. Kumbe ni camping na amenibebea juice na boflo kwa mfuko.

Boikelo – ‘Charming.’ Kuna vile huyo boy Okello ni boikelo, jo, no wonder ma-gal husema ye ni otero.

(‘Otero,’ baithe, is these days short for ‘oterrorist.’).

Bafafa – ‘Best Friends Forever.’ Me na Bree Chee, baithe am afraha to say, are bafafas.

CMF – Ku-catch ma-feelings and pronounced ‘siemef.’ Joe Kamau alini-stand-up uko Zebra Monday jioni, nika CMF!

Danse macabre – ‘Celebrate the downfall of someone.’ Vile Kenya ilifinyilia Fiji thirty/seven kwenye rooj finals, walevi walifanya ‘danse macabre’ ndani ya bar.

Doola – ‘A dumb person.’ Huyo Abdullah ni doola sana! Wasae wake walim-transfer last term to Nyakiminchia na bado end term ya March, ye ndio huyo ameshikilia mkia class.

Foko – ‘Focus.’ Ata waalimu wa Abdullah wakimwambia akuwe ‘foko’ kwa class, anateta akisema ‘kwani mi ni foko nilipwe nikipeana mar-ass-mus?’

Fyam – ‘It is fine enuff.’ Kuna vile hizi maandishi za Smittaski uwanga fyam ka feya (if they still have feyas).

HMF – ‘Hurt someone’s feelings.’ Kaa ume-siemef coz of kitu nilisema jana, jipeleke HDU uko Kenyatta Hosi wa-ku-diagnose na hizo HMF.

Imeruru – ‘Imechapa.’ Vile kuna mat fyam uko kwetu Buru, weekend nilifika Nyahururu, na bro jo, kuna vile hizo gari zao zimeruru.

Juu ya hio storo – ‘On top of things.’ Vile tu Twitter ili-blow na hizo storo za Chase bank, nilikuwa juu ya hio story nika-withdraw cheddar za mine mapema sana.

Kujidai chai ya asubuhi – ‘To have a superior attitude.’

Kujigunduz – ‘Kuchanuka.’ She was a serious shagsmondoz when she landed in Nai, lakini siku hizi, kuna vile anavaa inavyofaa ki-fyam! Ameji-gunduz.

Kuskuma hush – ‘Sleep for long, mostly out of tiredness.’ Vile leo nimechapa mabuku mpaka ma-midnight, naona kesho kuna vile ntaskuma hush.

Matiptips na madungalaz – ‘drinks and drugs.’ Kuna vile siwess mek kwenda bash ya Maish. Uko kwake tu ni matiptip na madungulaz.

Niko Chase – ‘Being very broke.’ Niko down ka Chase bank, ata fare sina.

Othee – ‘Obvious.’ Othis, kwani hio ni breaking news? Ni othee eti uko Chase kila time.

One Drop – ‘A big butt.’ Ona yule one drop akipita (often said by street oglers).

Ongwada & Ongwashe – While a bad looking boy is an ‘ongwada,’ a thwackious dudette is referred to as an ‘ongwashe.’

Perenyonyo Bensouda – ‘mtu mdaku.’ Huyo Peris ni perenyonyo Bensouda, anapenda kuchochea sana!

‘Roast’ – cane someone.

Sucrose – ‘feeling sweet.’ Huyo Ann hu-feel sucrose sana na hizo mogoro na ma-one drop unaeza thani yake ni ya sukari na gorofa.

Underfocus – ‘Thin and small.’ If you are lithe and pwetite, peeps call you a ‘laptop.’ If you look like the dik def of ‘malnutrition,’ then we call ya an underfocus.

Vanda – ‘Weak’ Yule underfocus kuna vile pia anakaa vanda.

Vodoski – Coz it is the ‘zee’ in every list of Sminglish ;-)

Athletics
Watch out for improved times at Lukenya marathon on Sunday
Rugby
SCHOOLS: Maseno School renew rivalry with St Mary's Yala in rugby
Hockey
SCHOOLS: Ng'iya Girls, Ageng'a Mixed, Kisumu Girls and Nyamira headline hockey
By Mose Sammy 13 hrs ago
Golf
Ireland Brendan wins Nakuru Captain prize