Mwalimu Socrates: How colleagues have conspired to dampen my April holidays’ spirits

Photo: Courtesy

An orchestra of scandals at Meta Meta mixed secondary school has conspired to make my April holidays a nightmare. Okonkwo, Wangu Wa Makeri and Annette, our welfare chair, have been drawn into this conspiracy. At the end of every term, one can borrow a soft loan from our welfare kitty. I had planned to get some money so as to start work on a bee keeping project.

Unlike Okonkwo, I can hear the drum beats of retirement from afar and I do not wish to be caught napping. Those who have retired say that laying one's hands on pension is a herculean task and lack of a plan B can lead to an early death. Annette has frustrated those dreams and am now counting her among enemies who would like to send me to an early grave.

When I approached her for a loan, she dropped a bombshell. "Ask Governor Ndung'u about your money, it is in Chase bank," she told me. "Who authorised you to put our money in Chase bank?" Vasco Da Gama who was also in need of some cash asked. She reminded us that teachers had resolved that the money be put in a fixed deposit account, where it could command a good interest.

She hasn't shown us any banking slips to back her claims though. Schola, swears that Annette has been playing shylock with our money. This could be true. Colleagues like Aeneas who are normally hypersensitive on money matters appear unperturbed. Apparently, Aeneas though behind in his monthly contributions got a loan from the kitty to buy shares at Mwalimu National Holdings.

Okonkwo on the other hand has insisted that the Jezebel probe committee sits immediately after closing. The committee investigating the theft of students' food by the kitchen staff is now referred to as the Jezebel probe committee. Wa Makeri, too, was waiting in line to make my holiday more miserable.

"As the dorm master of Serengeti house, you are required to attend a discipline meeting on Tuesday 19/4/2016 starting 9.00am As you are aware, some boys from your dorm were caught milking the school's dairy cows at midnight," read a part of the letter I had found in my pigeon hole.

With Vasco Da Gama and Schola who are members of the Jezebel probe committee, our attempts to get some money for fare from Okonkwo bore no fruits. "Have you moved from the school house?" he asked eyeing Schola and then added, "You are expected to be at your stations even during the holidays unless you are on official leave. Besides, the TSC gives you a commuter allowance every month." Our appeal stood dismissed.

We met on Thursday. Jezebel and her fellow cooks shed very little light on the kitchen heist. They stuck to their defense; it was the devil's doing. Okonkwo fishing out a calculator declared that the meat the staff had stolen over the years was equal to a number of champion bulls – like the ones fielded in Kakamega's bull fights.

"As for the sugar, beans and other items, what you have stolen can stock up a supermarket. I intend to recover the same from your salaries beginning this month. Anyone opposed to the idea?" he asked. There was absolute silence. The probe ended with Annette offering a winding closing prayer in which she sought divine intervention in the affairs of Meta Meta.

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