You stole my heart, now welcome to my house

There is one inevitable relationship milestone that comes before you move in with your partner or exchanging nuptial vows. And that big moment is when you give the person you are dating the keys to your apartment.

Exchanging keys can be a big deal. After all, it is an indication that you trust another person enough to give them complete access to your safe haven. Exchanging keys in a relationship is a huge step and a sign that things are taking off.

If you have survived through a few sleepovers and perhaps one or two vacations, the next natural step is to give your significant other access to your apartment because at this point, you should be fairly confident that he or she would not abuse that access. It is a good step to take before moving in together.

It is natural to feel a sense of dread about someone having a key to your home. Your home is the one place where you are the boss. It is where you sit back and take a break from the world. It is the one place where you can be yourself without being concerned about what other people think. When you give someone the keys to your house, you give him or her access to your private world. It however does not imply moving in together or marriage.

There’s no timeline attached to exchanging keys. It depends on how much you trust your partner and whether you are ready to move things forward in a relationship. Even when it comes about as a matter of convenience, letting your partner have the keys generally conveys deep meaning. It brings up matters of trust, vulnerability and intimacy. It communicates that you have complete confidence in your partner and the relationship, and that you want him or her to feel free to come into your world.

But you should be careful about who you give your keys to. Changing a lock can be as vital as giving out keys. It is not uncommon to hear of people changing locks after a breakup. Disgruntled ex lovers have been known to vandalise the property of people who broke their hearts and having a access to their houses makes it a whole lot easier to perpetrate the destructive acts.

Ladies, if you do get access to his bachelor’s pad, refrain from taking control of his house because at the end of the day, it is still his house and you are only a guest. Don’t rearrange anything, even if his decorating skills are seriously wanting.

If you feel the urge to change anything, ask first. You should also not use the key to sneak in and snoop on your boyfriend. He gave you the key because he trusts you and doing this is a violation of that trust.

If you think that you are at that juncture in a relationship where you should have access to his home but he hasn’t presented you with a key yet, don’t take it personal. He probably is self-conscious about something. Perhaps he is a bit of a slob (most men are).

Of course you will always find the place sparkling clean when he invites you over because he cleans up when he is expecting company. Giving you a key means you might catch him unawares with dirty dishes piled in the sink, or loads of laundry on the floor and he is not ready for you to see that just yet.

When you are ready to entrust the key to your home to your significant other, why not make it a little more romantic by presenting it in a gift-wrapped box during a special occasion?

@roxannekenya

There is one inevitable relationship milestone that comes before you move in with your partner or exchanging nuptial vows. And that big moment is when you give the person you are dating the keys to your apartment.

Exchanging keys can be a big deal. After all, it is an indication that you trust another person enough to give them complete access to your safe haven. Exchanging keys in a relationship is a huge step and a sign that things are taking off.

If you have survived through a few sleepovers and perhaps one or two vacations, the next natural step is to give your significant other access to your apartment because at this point, you should be fairly confident that he or she would not abuse that access. It is a good step to take before moving in together.

It is natural to feel a sense of dread about someone having a key to your home. Your home is the one place where you are the boss. It is where you sit back and take a break from the world. It is the one place where you can be yourself without being concerned about what other people think. When you give someone the keys to your house, you give him or her access to your private world. It however does not imply moving in together or marriage.

There’s no timeline attached to exchanging keys. It depends on how much you trust your partner and whether you are ready to move things forward in a relationship. Even when it comes about as a matter of convenience, letting your partner have the keys generally conveys deep meaning. It brings up matters of trust, vulnerability and intimacy. It communicates that you have complete confidence in your partner and the relationship, and that you want him or her to feel free to come into your world.

But you should be careful about who you give your keys to. Changing a lock can be as vital as giving out keys. It is not uncommon to hear of people changing locks after a breakup. Disgruntled ex lovers have been known to vandalise the property of people who broke their hearts and having a access to their houses makes it a whole lot easier to perpetrate the destructive acts.

Ladies, if you do get access to his bachelor’s pad, refrain from taking control of his house because at the end of the day, it is still his house and you are only a guest. Don’t rearrange anything, even if his decorating skills are seriously wanting.

If you feel the urge to change anything, ask first. You should also not use the key to sneak in and snoop on your boyfriend. He gave you the key because he trusts you and doing this is a violation of that trust.

If you think that you are at that juncture in a relationship where you should have access to his home but he hasn’t presented you with a key yet, don’t take it personal. He probably is self-conscious about something. Perhaps he is a bit of a slob (most men are).

Of course you will always find the place sparkling clean when he invites you over because he cleans up when he is expecting company. Giving you a key means you might catch him unawares with dirty dishes piled in the sink, or loads of laundry on the floor and he is not ready for you to see that just yet.

When you are ready to entrust the key to your home to your significant other, why not make it a little more romantic by presenting it in a gift-wrapped box during a special occasion?

@roxannekenya