Mwalimu Socrates: Busted cooks opt for witchcraft to jinx committee

More scandals have come up since Okonkwo busted the Meta Meta kitchen staff’s racket of stealing food. Rumours authenticated by Schola, indicate that the busted cooks are not taking the matter lying down.

Apparently they have pooled money to hire the services of a witchdoctor to retain their jobs. According to Schola, one of the cooks travelled all the way to Tanzania and came back with charms potent enough to blind the committee members’ eyes to their acts.

The first meeting of the committee did not take place as was scheduled on Tuesday last week. Okonkwo was down with a cold. Schola smiled knowingly when we received the text messages postponing the meeting to the following Thursday.

On that Tuesday morning, a headless dead rat was found outside Okonkwo’s office door. Next to it was a dead lizard whose tail had also been cut off. Some crushed dry leaves mixed with some black powder had been poured on the office’s door mat. Okonkwo hails from a deeply superstitious community. Hadn’t it been for Magarita’s forceful intervention, he would have taken up the challenge by hiring the services of a more powerful witchdoctor - the one who has been making thieves return stolen property while chewing grass like King Nebuchadnezzar.

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Magarita, the Meta Meta Christian Union patron, could hear none of it. She marshalled her members and they marched round the school compound singing. Magarita then poured a whole bottle of anointing oil and salt on the dead rat and lizard as choruses of “Shindwe” from her brigade rent the air.

Soon after that Depa threatened to storm the committee if Okonkwo failed to officially invite her. Being in charge of discipline, she could not understand how such a committee could sit without her.

“Stealing students’ food is an act of indiscipline,” she declared. Okonkwo’s explanations that her portfolio is limited to students fell on deaf ears. Wa Makeri is quite suspicious of the presence of Madam Annette in that committee. Before she was posted to Meta Meta as the deputy principal, Okonkwo had been grooming Annette for that post. Wa Makeri sees her as a threat. Okonkwo was forced to expand the committee to accommodate Depa.

Then word went round on Wednesday that the meat sneaked out in the cooks’ gumboots usually ended up making the popular samosas that both teachers and students enjoyed with their break time tea. I saw Donatta fling two samosas she was about to devour out of the window. Flo rushed to the kitchen sink. “Gumboot germs can withstand the heat of the samosa fryers” Aenea theorised however.

Our first meeting has again been postponed to Tuesday next week.

“This committee is jinxed,” exclaimed Annette as she read the text postponing the meeting yet again.

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