As someone lucky enough to be at the heart of village operations for years, I understand that every time someone shady happens, someone big is in the know.

And now that Gitegi is receiving torrential rainfall, Sue pretends to have nothing to do with it.

I have told you before about the heavy levies we have had to contend with in the village.

A few eagle-eyed villagers have complained that Harold is being offered superior alcohol at Sue’s, seeing as he now sings proper country music when drunk.

This, the conspiracy theorists opine, is wine bought from the levies we pay. 

A leaked document that showed Sue is already quietly looking for Santa Claus, who she needs in the village as soon as possible so he does not get stuck in the mud in late December.

And Kinuthia was last week seen shepherding a brood of chickens towards Sue’s. These birds will be the Christmas treat for her customers.

But Kinuthia vehemently denied claims that the chickens belonged to Sue, telling us he has been dealing with bird selling for decades. A lie.

Fowls have become very expensive and unaffordable here and Kinuthia casually walking about with tens of them is seriously disturbing.

As Christmas nears, Sue will sponsor many people to execute her nefarious activities. We can be sure the chickens were bought using public money, and that Sue’s friends will be dining and making merry amid plenty while the rest of us paupers feed on scraps.

It is anyone's guess what Sue will get up to next.  

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