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Bunge Chronicles: To fence or not, a date with destiny is fast approaching

Parliament during a previous session [Elvis Ogina, Standard]

To fence or not, MPs' date with destiny is fast approaching

David ole Sankok, alias Nominee 001, wore black to Parliament on Tuesday. No, he wasn't attending any burial–a mheshimiwa's favourite chill spot–later on. The weather wasn't particularly gloomy, and neither was the mood in bunge. His customary green, therefore, would have seemed a better fit.

The gloom would come a day later when wahesh made a life-threatening discovery flying above their heads. For more than two years, the wahesh have seen the Nairobi Expressway alter the city's skyline, proud that Kenya was upping its standards to match Europe's level. That was until the expressway showed up next to bunge.

"Parliament is a key national institution that requires strategic security considerations," said Kitutu Masaba MP Shadrack Mose. His issue was the expressway was exposing bunge to attacks, now more so with terror alerts issued by various embassies.

And it isn't only wahesh who would be at risk. The president, visiting presidents and other dignitaries would be in danger of attack from an enemy lurking above.

"We are not opposed to the expressway," Mose assured, allaying fears he might be seeking the road's relocation, in the same way that Baba Yao sought to have a river re-routed.

His solution? To fence off the road in the section that overlooks bunge. (Call it embracing Trumpism. First it was Kenya Kwanza, like Trump's America First. Now they want to build a wall!)

Endebess MP Robert Pukose called it a 'perimeter wall' that would protect them from attacks. "Someone could hit Parliament with a bazooka," he lamented, saying the road would cause them sleepless nights.

Of course, more MPs raised their fears over the 'dangerous expressway', all of which were obviously valid. All but Kiharu's Ndindi Nyoro.

"The solution is not about building perimeter walls and isolationism," he urged his colleagues.

He did not remind them of the bunkers they had constructed–disguised as tunnels–to keep them from crossing paths with peasants.

Neither did he tell them of the sorry fate that awaits most come August. Joblessness, a threat more serious than a bazooka-wielding sniper, lies in wait.

The ballot is notorious for its hate for recycling MPs. So whoever hates the wahesh as much as to wish them harm would better wait until August 9. Ndindi insisted that the solution was to ensure the entire country was secure like other developed nations.

His suggestion earned him a trip abroad, to a country of his choice, paid for by Speaker Justin Muturi.

"It seems that you haven't been to those countries," the Speaker retorted, suggesting that they fence their roads.