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The role of a dad in the delivery room

Parenting

Fathers are very much a part of modern birth. They are now involved in birth for a very good reason. It was discovered that women who had a ‘birth companion’ during labour did better than women who didn’t.

A dad might be very keen to be there and to help - but what exactly does he do? Most never get anywhere near an antenatal clinic and the only medical information they’re likely to get is from you - which inevitably means its second hand. All this can leave a man feeling pretty left out.

The resulting anxiety will make it difficult for a man to be a good birth companion. If he has no idea of what’s going to happen, he won’t give his best. Many fathers could be a lot more effective as birth companions with a little more preparation.

Some men are all at sea when it comes to understanding the basics of pregnancy and birth. Reading materials together and sharing any books on the subject that you get a hold of is important. At this early stage, the more you both know about what’s happening, the better.

To a large extent, it’s up to you to keep your partner informed about what is happening. Many women don’t tell their partners what the midwife or the doctor at the antenatal clinic said, feeling perhaps that they won’t want to know. But dads are very interested. It’s worth your husband coming along with you on a visit to the antenatal clinic. He can learn a lot including a visit to the labour ward and the delivery room, he’ll find out about the sort of equipment and procedures he might encounter on the day itself.

The day of the main event will come round surprisingly fast, and it can be very nerve-racking for a father, however well prepared. Some fathers feel left out when they arrive at the hospital. Inevitably the staff focus their attention on the mother - which is as it should be, after all. But dads sometimes get left hanging around in corridors while staff rush about, which can make them feel useless. It’s important at this stage for you both to tell the staff that you want to stay together as much as possible. During the early part of labour, it’s important for you both to establish a working relationship with the people who are helping you to give birth. They want to see a happy and successful outcome, so you’re all on the same side.

It’s in this area of working together with the staff that a father can make a real contribution. He can act as intermediary between you and the staff, ask questions and explain to you what’s going on as you concentrate on what’s happening to your body.

It’s sometimes better coming through him than straight from someone you don’t know. At the same time, he can remind the staff of your wishes about things like pain relief. He can be your representative, as well as your supporter.

Once the baby is born, it’s important for a father to hold his child; it will help him to ‘bond’ with this new human being who will change his life. Husbands and wives need each other, and being together at such a time is the best way to start the rest of your lives as a family together.

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