Last week, I came upon some articles in the papers that had me a bit worried. One article talked about how girls as young as 12 are engaging in unsafe sex and contracting all manner of sexually transmitted infections. A related article talked about women who are flirting with illness and death as they go to great pains to procure abortions. It really is ridiculous that in this day and age, women are confronting such unnecessary issues just because they cannot make some rational choices about very key issues.
Let us start off with the unwanted pregnancies - it beggars belief that in 2018 any sane woman should allow herself to get into this awkward situation. This is especially worrying because the female body is home to one of the most efficient endocrine systems. Most female bodies have a way of sending very loud signals to tell you what is happening internally especially from a fertility point of view.
These bodies tell you when you are most fertile sometimes by change in gradients of certain body parts and viscosity of certain fluids. Other times and with serious precision, the same system demands sanitary pads based on mood swings and acceleration from tears to temper tantrums.
In fact, the female reproductive system is usually so efficient and predictable that anyone with a Smartphone can track their hormones with a simple swipe off the phone. I am therefore at pains to understand why any woman should go for untethered coitus with over 70 per cent certainty she is going to conceive.
Some women tell me that the main reason they throw caution to the wind is because their men persuade them or plead with them to “get pregnant for them”. This is the lamest line ever and it proves that men do not need a lot of skill and ingenuity in getting women to do their bidding. These women feel like they are doing their men and their world a mighty favour by offering to bring their offspring into the world.
By now, all women should know that all men come wired with a need to sow their wild oats everywhere but very few come wired with parenting instincts and a sense of fatherly responsibility. So, any woman who feels philanthropic enough to get “pregnant for her man” needs to be sure that she (and she only) will deal will all the vagaries of pregnancy, the trauma of childbirth, the wear and tear to the body and a lifetime of taking care of her offspring.
Lock and key
There are some women who take some measure of comfort from the law which has given women some concessions in demanding parental support. However, that process can often be lengthy and costly, and men have a cunning way of ignoring even the sternest of court orders on child support.
It therefore follows that by now, women would have learnt their lessons and mastered the discipline to keep their legs firmly shut or the discipline to keep their reproductive system firmly under gabion, lock and key. That is why this increasing cases of carelessness about conception and procreation amongst women bother me - a child is a lifetime of responsibility not a doll to be played with. If you must have one, then do it for yourself not because some guy has whispered some sweet-sounding nothings in your ears.
In my view, a woman’s reproductive system is her second most precious asset after the brain. It is an asset that serves as a highway for pleasure for herself and others and a highway for life - nature’s most precious gift. Some very smart women have learnt how to deploy their asset to deliver high yield returns that include money, pedigree, prestige and property. So, when anything happens to dent or damage the well-being of this asset, then it is imperative that women pay extra attention. If the said asset contracts some mysterious disease, then women ought to get some serious medical attention and not resort to those over the counter meds that cause more pain and havoc. If the said asset becomes home to an unwanted pregnancy, and the woman chooses to overlook all the moral and religious lessons and indoctrination, she can at least avoid those back-street clinics that visit havoc and destruction to her precious asset. Yes, abortion is illegal in this part of the world and most puritanists promise fire and brimstone for those who take this path, but like all other illegal stuff it can be procured in the right establishment for the right fee.
Any woman who feels strong enough to jump through the hurdles of securing an abortion must invest in getting a safe (albeit illegal) one. If she must borrow from her chama or from the shylock, then she should make all attempts to do so – it is only fair that she pays top dollar for failing to use free condoms.
Mothers of daughters need to help their daughters navigate their adolescence with some dignity. And this is since most of us have turned up the sexual antennae for our girls by insisting they wear sexy dresses before they can learn their A-B-Cs and that they win the twerking contest at family contests. We should therefore become mortified when these same girls become prime and receptive fodder for sex way before what is considered reasonable time. Girls need to be taught that sexual power at whatever age comes with certain responsibilities and that somehow women bear the heaviest burden of any of their sexual misdemeanors.
It is a bit escapist to wave the Bible or the law at our oversexed minors - maybe we should consider showing them where the condom dispensers are in the hope that when they choose to be foolish, they will at least do it carefully. So, women if you aren’t managing your reproductive health then shame on you.