Dads, leave some love for yourselves too
SEE ALSO :Should deadbeat dads be listed with CRB?Finding a balance Over the years, I have seen this brother putting his kids first, and making sure that they had every last thing that they needed. Recently, his elder daughter graduated from a local university. The other daughter is graduating in two years’ time. Whenever we meet, I have never heard this brother – like some men do – moan about the “burden” of schooling his children. He calls it a blessing. He is so proud of his kids you can see the pride oozing from his pores. But the other thing that he constantly talks about is keeping a balance. “When you are making sacrifices for your family, don’t ever forget about yourself,” he always advises me. “Don’t wear tatters just so that people can see that you’re giving all to your family. However harsh the economy may be, try to find a balance.” My friend’s advice gave me a reality check, as it should other brothers who are grinding for their families. It has taught me that I should love my family as I love myself. Even children can see Sometimes we do things – like making sacrifices – and we think that our children cannot see what’s happening. Children are perceptive, and they can put two-and-two together. Not so long ago, we were walking home from church with my daughter when, out of the blues, she asked me why I do not go out with my friends. “You know, you girls come first,” I told her. “You should also treat yourself,” she said, “because you always treat us well.” I think that this was not out of the blues. A little bird tells me that my daughter had been watching me. Our children can see things which we think they cannot see. Two years ago, I was stressed due to some issues of life. One evening, I excused myself and went out for a walk. It was my daughter who locked the door when I went out. “Pudd’ng says that, when you went out you looked extremely distressed,” my wife told me when I returned. I had tried to keep a happy countenance. But I guess I did a lousy job of it. She saw through the fake smile that I wore. I know I have written about the anatomy of sacrifice. About the sacrifices we make for our children. But I am also learning that I should make sacrifices for myself. It is not being selfish. Instead, it is being secure.
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