Six commandments of living with a relative's child
There may be times when one of you thinks: “Why are we taking in ‘your’ brother/sister’s child?”
These feelings are valid. Do not accuse your spouse of unkindness. Address your spouse’s concerns and turn “your” to “our”. Once you make it “our” business, you will have opened the pathway to unconditional love. Thou shall treat all kids equally Be as fair as you can; whether you are serving those last morsels of food and you are tempted to favour your child, or you are dispensing justice and you feel like letting your child to get away with murder.
Kids are perceptive. Be fair on both ends. Your child may feel that they are being made to unfairly bear the weight of carrying a new family member. Put your child on the know. Tell them that you can feel them. Teach them that sharing is caring. Thou shall not make a child to pay for a parent’s sin When a child is under your care, put aside all the wrongs that their parent may have committed. In families, there are rivalries, and these may at times spill onto the children, turning them into collateral damage.
If you have anything against a child’s parent, take it up with the grown up and leave the poor kid out of the drama.
Always speak well of the child’s parents. If they are providing any support to their child, however minimal - moral or monetary - make sure the child knows. Do unto another’s child as you’d like to be done unto yours Life happens. Tables turn. What do you know; your child may be forced to live with a relative. And karma is a you-know-what.
Do not abuse a relative’s child, or any child for that matter. Do not turn a relative’s child into a house help ... or a drum. Thou shan’t make promises you can’t keep
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