Judy Thongori: I derive energy from my husband

By Njoki Karuoya and Harold Ayodo

My husband John Thongori and I have just celebrated 16 years of marriage. Ours has been an interesting journey with its share of great and challenging times. I am the outgoing and public person while John is happy to be the opposite.

Judy gazes adoringly at her husband John.

Priorities

Society, sadly, made me feel that to be professionally successful, I had to be unattached. A pregnant or breastfeeding professional looked untidy.

But I have grown and I guess society, too, has. I believe the professional front is sustained and energised by the relationships we have. Without my family, I am not me. If my family is not okay, I am not okay and I cannot perform as a professional.

At our first staff meeting this year, I told my colleagues that I perceived them as family people and I asked them to perceive me in the same light.

We need to understand that we all come from families and that work cannot compete with them; so that when one has a sick child or needs to attend a school event, which should take priority.

When people come to work yet they need to be with a child who has a fever, they will not work well; they will simply push paper waiting for time to go home. But if they get time off to nurse the child, they can compensate for that time by being more productive.

The lesson, therefore, is that when a choice has to be made between the two, the family will ultimately win.

I recommend to employers to give space to families in their organisations. Let us hang photos of our loved ones in the offices as they energise us and we feel that our employer cares.

In touch with self

Employees should not be apologetic about their families because it gives them depth and value. Pregnant women, breastfeeding mothers and women with teenage children should make them part of their identity when applying for a job.

Defy the stereotype that children will interfere with your work.

The Thongori family. From left: Tracy, John, Judy and Eric. Photos: Maxwell Agwanda/Standard

Men, too, should not be apologetic about their expectant wives, breastfeeding babies or adult children. They should accept that this is their family.

Let us spare ourselves a generation of unhappy children.

I believe everyone is successful in life. It depends on what one considers success and once you find it, you will wonder what else you were looking for.

My beliefs come from lessons I have learnt on my journey towards and during my 40s. For me, success is being in touch with myself and being faithful to that self.

It has everything to do with the fulfilling relationships one has and not the hours spent in the office or the fat bank balance.

These are only a means to an end; the end being how happy one feels at the end of the day or season.