I am 33 years old but still can't choose between these two men

I am 33 and have had a fiancée for three years. The relationship ended when we got to a point that we were no longer in love with each other about three months ago. I met another man who I really liked and I am now 6 weeks pregnant. Even though we broke up with my ex we are still intimate but I am certain the child is not his.

 He really wants us to get back together and is even proposing to start making arrangements to pay dowry for me. However, I really like the other guy because he is mature and is really taking this relationship seriously. None of them knows about the pregnancy.I don't know what to do now please advise me.

{Loraine}

Loraine, your story is like that of hyena that split into half by deciding to go two ways. If I were you, I would plan a life with the true father of the child. You put yourself in this confusion so you should even get tested for HIV. Your original fiancé is serious about marriage and is even ready to pay dowry while the other one is only interested in your anatomy. {Onyango Outha}

It seems your mind is already made up but you should avoid falling out of love with the present guy too. This would lead to a series of breakups that will not be good for you. Do not cheat on both of them. {Aseri Dick}

Marriage is a life-long so you should be careful not to make mistakes at the beginning. If you are sure your heart is no longer with someone, follow your heart but be sure that you are not making another mistake. {Tasma Saka}

Your explanation is very clear and you have stated the reasons the other guy swept you off the ground. So just forget about your former boyfriend because as you said, you had lost love for each other. Love is never forced anyway. Handle this pregnancy tactfully because it will make or break your future with any or both of these guys. Remember the hyena who wanted all went different ways at the same time and lost everything. {Ouma Ragumo}

Love represents a total devotion of one person - heart, soul, and body - to another, which implies that you can never love a second person without taking something away from the first. You are already pregnant for the second man so please don’t waste your former boyfriend’s time. If you feel you are not compatible, please say so in an open minded way and find a life. But that seems not to be the case here, you are the pot calling kettle black. {Andrew Didy Chaplin}

Counsellor’s Take:

Loraine, you are at a sensitive point in your life and you ought to be very careful with your next choice of action. First, you broke up with a long time fiancée and got into another relationship immediately. Even after the breakup and new relationship you still maintained intimate relations with your former fiancée. Now you are expectant and both parties are still interested in you and this is why it becomes a delicate issue.

In the first instance, I have some reservations about your new found lover’s interest and commitment to a long-term relationship. I appreciate your sentiments about him about his maturity and how serious he seems to be taking the relationship but that is how all men are at the beginning of any relationship.

He is only taking advantage of your situation and more so that you are on rebound. A lady on rebound is usually an easy and favorite target for men as they are generally very easy and especially so with sex. I guarantee that if you were to tell him about the pregnancy, he would take cover, change his telephone number or out you on permanent black list.

A bird in hand is worth more than two in the bush they say so I encourage you to try and mend relations with the devil you know much better as opposed to trying and working out things with the angel you hardly know. Most certainly, there is the issue of paternity but I believe that at 33 you have learned several things about life.

One of the most critical of life’s lessons is the fact that at any one time, we ought to handle sensitive information carefully to ensure that people access only that information that is good and relevant to them. If your former is as serious as he claims to be about getting things back on track, the two of you can work together and get it right this time.

You may choose to explore the new relationship should the old one totally fail but this should be a last option. The point at which you are requires precision in the actions you take. Do not burn the bridge on a long-time relationship to pursue an exciting and seemingly promising new one. {Taurus}