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Wanting to be a perfect mum making it harder to be a good parent

Readers Lounge By Rachel Murugi
(Photo: Shutterstock)

We live in a world where seeking validation has become the norm. As such, the image of the perfect mum has been made so popular that mothers have been put under heaps of pressure to measure up. Every single day, particularly, through social media, mothers are bombarded by photos of women who seem to have gotten the right formula on how to be the perfect mum. As you try to emulate this seeminly illusive perfection, you may find yourself ignoring what your family needs while focusing on what you want to portray to the world thus being less of a good parent.

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As you go through your social media feed, secretly admiring the well dressed parents with their children, it's easy to feel the need to wash your children daily. You'll feel like less of a good mum because you think you can't take care of your children. In truth, you are still worthy regardless of the situation at hand. There are days that your children will be dirtier and you can't keep them clean all the time. At the end of the day, they are your children and you'll be the one to do the laundry.

Then comes the pressure to provide a certain lifestyle. Keeping up with the Joneses becomes something you'll consistently do which means you're not living within your means. If you are falling to the pressure of wanting to compete with your neighbor on giving them a life similar to theirs, you're likely to get burnt out. You're a good parent even when you don't provide this or the other that everyone else has. Understanding where you are in life is important because you won't go dragging yourself as a bad parent. You sacrifice a lot for your children and that's what should count.

(Photo: Shutterstock)

Mothers struggle with how they look, and have that perfect body. In the lie perpetuated by the media that a bigger butt and flat tummy are the most attractive and perfect body you may feel pressure to fall in the fitness bandwagon. Having postnatal weight doesn't make you a bad mother. You should be able to understand that you've gone through pregnancy and need to eat well.

Other mothers feel less than perfect when they can't breastfeed. The truth is for some, it may be harder to release milk by the day and choosing to bottle feed doesn't make you less of a mother. You should be confident that you are feeding your baby well and giving them the very best you can. Breastfeeding or not, you're a good mother.

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