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Home / Relationships

He’s a great guy, but has no feelings for me

By Chris Hart | 4 months ago | 3 min read

 Does he really have feelings for me? (Photo: Courtesy)

Hi Chris,

I have some real feelings for a great guy, but somehow they’re not being returned. We never seem to meet together on our own, and if I suggest that just the two of us should go somewhere, he changes the subject.

He only comes round when it suits him, talks about other girls he’s dating, and never touches me or says anything really flirty to me.

Do you see what I mean? Somehow he doesn’t seem to have the feelings for me that I have for him. What’s going on? And is there anything I can do about it?

Not being Returned

Chris says,

Hi Not Being Returned!

You’re in his friendzone. Perhaps he’s already in a relationship, doesn’t really want one right now, or has some emotional baggage, like a crazy ex. Or maybe you’re just too different from his usual squeeze.

So if you can’t get romance out of your mind, you’ve some work to do to get him to see you as a girlfriend. Fortunately, guys always have sexual thoughts about a female friend. But if you don’t take the initiative, things will just stay the way they are.

Start by showing him that you’re desirable. So when you’re hanging out with him and his mates, flirt with anyone who hits on you. Be ‘too busy’ to hang out with him all the time, so he realises you aren’t at his beck and call. Date other guys, and have a life of your own.

And flirt with him, because otherwise he really might never realise you’re romantically interested in him. Keep your body language subtle and ambiguous, touch only the public parts of his body, and make goodbye’s quick and simple. Brief hugs, and no kissing, especially not on the cheek.

Help him see you in a new light by really dolling yourself up for your weekend girls night. Let your sexy side show through your usual fun and friendly self, so he stops seeing you as just a sweet thing and realises that there’s just a hint of the bad girl in you, and somehow he’s not seen it before.

Get into the best shape of your life, because he’ll be impressed if you’re obviously fit, healthy and happy. And fill your life with things that make you feel cheerful and confident.

In other words, send the message that you’re sexy and available, without being too obvious about wanting him. And give him plenty of opportunities to say something.

What if he still doesn’t make an approach? Then a relationship with him simply isn’t meant to be.

And for the future, the next time you go out with a new guy, make it absolutely clear that you’re going on a DATE together. Because if that works out, you’ve straightway got a boyfriend!!

All the best,


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