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Home / Relationships

Confessions: I love my girlfriend but she seems closer to her female friend than she is to me

 Whenever they do things together, she never wants me around (Shutterstock)


I’m a guy in my 20s and I’ve been seeing a girl for about a year and I’m in love with her. However, while I try to include her in everything, she keeps me at a distance from her family and friends.

I know it hasn’t been easy with Covid restrictions, but she’s still met my parents and a few of my mates and I want her to be a part of my life.

She has this one female friend in particular and they’re very cosy together.

My girlfriend often stays overnight at her house and whenever they do things together, she never wants me around.

It almost feels as if they’re lovers and she doesn’t want me to find out about it!

I know this sounds paranoid, but I was in a serious relationship before and my girlfriend cheated on me with another guy, also a friend of mine, and my current situation feels similar.

I don’t know whether I’m making too much of it, but can’t understand why I’m never allowed to join in – and she’s definitely quite defensive around her friend. Any ideas?



Maybe because you’ve been hurt in the past, you are being a little paranoid. I know in the past when my sisters or my mates came over, my hubby at the time, Ray, would know it was a girls’ day and that he’d better make himself scarce and find something else to do.

I think you might be jumping to conclusions – perhaps she wants to spend time alone with this friend because she hasn’t been able to see her much, thanks to the lockdowns.

And maybe she’s not being defensive, but just getting a little irritated that you’re making an issue out of it.

You’ve only been seeing each other for a year and it’s been a challenging time. It’s not like your girlfriend has been out living it up every night without you – there hasn’t been the opportunity.

You have to trust someone until they let you down – she’s not your ex and the situation is different.

If you carry on picking away at this scab, you might drive her away.

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