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Should couples go for premarital counselling?

Marriage Advice
 Marriage is a lifelong commitment that takes more than just promises to work (Photo: iStock)

Counselling in general is still something that people are adjusting to. Some still assume that there must be something wrong with you if you need counselling which is not always the case.

As a couple that is about to wed, premarital counselling is something you have definitely heard of and you probably know of a few pros for signing up. You don’t absolutely have to force yourself to go through it, but if you read the testimonies of couples who decided to go you might reconsider.

There are so many benefits of going for therapy before you walk down the aisle and here are a few that might encourage you to book a session:

It helps you be more self-aware

It’s usually interesting to hear some observations that people have of you as a couple. You might not know it but you have an identity that you have built together and it’s important to know who you are from a therapist’s perspective.

This process also helps you rediscover yourselves as individuals which is a bonus. By the time you’re starting your lives together as an officially married couple, you’ll have learnt new things about yourselves.

It exposes any red flags

Some people are afraid of going for counselling because they’re afraid it will expose major issues and lead to a breakup. This isn’t really a bad thing because should you really be marrying someone that isn’t right for you? No.

It’s better if you have someone to point out big cracks before you blindly jump into marriage. This will prevent even bigger problems that might force you to go through the horrible process of divorce.

It can help repair areas that need restoration

Sometimes couples have some areas that they have never resolved. These aren’t necessarily major red flags that mean you need to call off the wedding but, they are small issues that might cause friction in future.

Counselling will spot those issues and help you heal so that you’re fully ready to move to the next step.

It gives you more confidence

There are many things that might squash your confidence when you’re actually ready. Things like past trauma and divorce in the family can make you feel like you aren’t capable of having long-lasting marriage and you need someone to help you confront those feelings like a therapist.

It gives you wisdom for marriage

Knowledge and wisdom are separate concepts. Knowledge is about a specific structure of guidelines but wisdom requires a more complex intuition.

A premarital counsellor has gained a lot of experience and they have crucial nuggets of wisdom that they can share with you, which you won’t hear anywhere else.

This wisdom is what will help you genuinely enjoy married life for years to come.


Premarital counselling might be great but there are still some things you need to be aware of. First, you need to both be willing to go for it to have any positive impact and second, you need to research widely to find an experienced counsellor.

When you’re both on the same page and you have the right counsellor, you will be able to reap the full benefits.

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